How to get help requests in the areas of your strength

Last week I had an opportunity to watch a video entitled "The Fulcrum Effect" by Rajesh Setty. It turned out to be not just a relaxation from routine work, but also a virtual classroom where I learnt quite a few lessons.

Amongst other points that Rajesh makes in the video, one that I found very unique was "How to get help requests in the areas of your strength, & how to say 'no' to people who ask you for help in areas in which you are not strong". He elucidates that a lot of research has been done to find out as to what is the best way to say 'no' to such requests, and there are 5 steps in which 'no' can be said.


1. Acknowledge the request: Get the confirmation as to in which area you are being asked for help. Ensure that help is not being asked in the area of your strength.

Example: If your friend asks you to review the manuscript of the book he plans to publish, then confirm whether he wants you to do just the proof-reading, or more than that.

2. Refuse politely: Say "No" in plain and simple words: "Sorry, I can't do that."

3. Explain: Give explanation as to why you can't help the person. Be truthful.

Example: Tell your friend that you are not a writer, and hence not suitable for the job.

4. Provide options: Give the person another source from where he/she can get the help.

Example: Refer your friend to someone else you know who has a good reputation for his/her writing skills.

5. State your area of strength: Inform the requester about the area in which you welcome requests for help.

Example: Tell your friend that if he wanted help in making a presentation, you would be glad to help.

If you follow the above steps, you not only empower yourself to use your time more productively, but also benefit others.

(a) You don't waste your time doing something that you are not good at.
(b) You inform your friend about the areas of your strength. This way, he will come to you when he needs help in those areas. You will then work in those areas, and become even more stronger.
(c) Your friend finds the right source for the help he requires.
(d) The person who helps your friend becomes stronger in the area of his strength.
(e) Your friendship does not suffer even though you did not help your friend.

The video has many more such insights, and it is highly recommended for everybody. The DVD is available here.