Waiting for a call that will not come (Part 3)

When his eyes opened, it was broad daylight. The bus was entering a town, the name of which he could not read as he did not know the local language. Soon, the bus reached a bus-station, and almost everybody got down along with their luggage. Figuring out that this must be his destination too, he stepped out of the bus. After inquiring at the Inquiry office, he realized that he has to take one more bus to complete his journey.He called his sister, and updated her about his status.

Then he stared at the phone for many minutes. Will his friend call now? He considered calling his friend, but then decided not to. Since it was a Sunday, his friend might get up late. He did not want to disturb him. Still his mind remained clouded with his thoughts. Will he call, and ask him where had he reached? Did he eat something? Did he face any problem in a place where he did not know the language?

‘He will call. Just wait.’ He said to himself.

He sat in the bus that will take him to Tirumala. As the bus began the climb, he was reminded of his previous visit to a hill station. He looked out of the window. The city of Tirupati was spread out on the plain below the hill. It was a beautiful sight.

He reached the Tirumala town at 9:30 am. His sister was to arrive two hours later, and he had that much time to kill. The first task was to find a place to have breakfast. He found a public tap where he brushed his teeth & washed his face. Then, he located a small shop and ordered flavoured milk & bread. The taste of the milk was foreign to him, and ended up spoiling the taste in his mouth.

‘When he calls me, I will remember to tell him that flavoured milk here is not good’, he made a mental note.

He spent rest of the waiting time, praying to God, and watching the children of the pilgrims around him. They were running around the place, trying to catch each other. And then their mother will shout at them to come back to her. They will come back reluctantly, only to run away once her focus shifted to something else.

Soon his sister arrived, and he joined her. And for the first time, he forgot about the call.

Waiting for a call that may not come (Part 2)

His neck ached due to constant strain. The seat had turned out not to be too comfortable after all. When he could not sleep, he prayed to God. He felt he will not sleep at all. Still, he closed his eyes, covered them with a blanket to avoid the occasional streak of light coming from street-lamps.

It was difficult to say how long he slept, but when his eyes opened, he knew it was not because of the uncomfortable position he was in. The bus was standing still. There was no sound whatsoever. He could hear only the crickets out there, chirping at night.

‘May be the bus-driver & conductor have gone for refreshments’, he thought. He lied down more comfortably now, across three seats, and he knew he will be able to sleep now.

However, it was not to be a night for good sleep. His eyes opened again. The bus had not moved at all. He waited for his eyes to adjust to the darkness, and then he could see a small building in front of the bus. Other passengers in the bus were sleeping soundly.

‘How long do they take to finish their refreshments?’ he thought.

It was time to investigate. He got down from the bus. What he thought was small building, turned out to be a lorry. The bus-driver was lying down on the road, as if he is relaxing.

“There has been an accident ahead, sahib. There is big traffic jam. We cannot continue till the road ahead is cleared”, the bus driver told him

“Doesn’t matter.” He said to himself, and came back to his seat to sleep. After some time, the bus–engine roared to life. The road ahead was finally clear, and he was travelling again. He checked his cellphone. The phone-call had not yet come.

(To be continued...)

Waiting for a call that may come (Part 1)

It was Saturday evening, and the traffic on the road was not much. He reached the bus station, around 9 pm. He was scheduled to catch a bus to Tirupati. His ticket was booked for a luxury bus that was due to depart at 11:30 pm.

As he reached the bus station, he saw half a dozen buses already waiting to depart to Tirupati. Numerous bus-conductors were shouting to attract passengers to their respective buses. From far anyone would have thought that they were having an argument with each other. He smiled at this scene, politely refusing few conductors who asked him to get into their bus.

The buses were also of different types; some were with standard seats, which could be boarded with any prior reservation ; whereas others were luxury buses, have more comfortable seats, which could be pulled back to make you more comfortable. But traveling close to 6 hours in such buses was still a difficult task, as there is not much room for one to stretch his body.

It was time for dinner. Even as he wondered what to eat, he remembered what had happened earlier in the day. One of his sisters had offered to pack his dinner (rice & sambhar). He had refused the offer. But now he felt grateful to her for her concern. He sought out a small eatery, and ate the same items she had offered, thinking about her & praying for her well-being all the time.

He waited for the phone-call. He had had a conversation with his friend recently. His friend had expressed his thanks to him for the help that he had rendered to him. The friend also told him that he will call him soon. And, now, his friend may call him, ask him whether he had his dinner or not, whether he reached the bus-station in time or not, and so many other things. He knew that there was a possibility of his friend not calling him, but he waited.

He rested himself on a push-cart waiting for the bus. ‘Amazing place,’ he thought, ’Throughout the 24 hours, there is so much activity that it looks like people here never go to sleep.’ There was a big queue of the buses at the exit gate. For no apparent reason, the bus which was at the gate will stop & wait for more passengers. This would frustrate the other bus-drivers behind, and they will honk non-stop. And once that bus leaves, the one coming behind it will follow suit.

Even as he watched this commotion, he saw his bus arrive. He got into it, and confirmed his reservation with the conductor. Soon, he had settled down on his luxurious, push-back seat. The conductor informed him that the seat next to him is not booked by anybody. Even as he rejoiced over the extra space he now had to stretch himself during the long journey, an old man arrived and sat next to him. A casual conversation indicated that he had just boarded the bus, as it was less crowded compared to other buses, and had better seats. He realized that he had celebrated too early.

The bus took 30 minutes to break free out of the congested exit gate. His co-passenger had shifted to another seat, so that he could he could have the adjacent seat to himself . He closed his eyes as the bus sped through the minimal traffic of the city. And he still waited for the call. His friend would ask him whether he caught the bus or not. Was he feeling cold? Did he have a good-enough blanket to cover himself at night? Is the seat comfortable enough to sleep?

(To be continued...)

Childhood Dreams (Continuation from my previous post)

As I mentioned in my previous post, all the attendees had listed down the lessons that they had learned from the Randy Pausch video. This was just the first part of the session. In a consecutive session, that was held following week, the attendees were asked to write down their childhood dreams. The coordinator then listed out the passions that are hidden behind those dreams. Then the participants were divided into pairs. Each individual in a pair had to ask the following questions from his/her partner.

• What was your childhood dream?
• Which passion did the dream drive? (Select from the list given)
• Are you still passionate about your dream?
• If no, what are you passionate about today?
• What are you doing to bring your dream to become a reality?

Once everybody had the answers from his/her partner, they were asked to speak about it to the audience. In addition to the above questions, they were asked to answer two more questions:

• What have you learned so far in your journey to fulfill your dream?
• How can your employer help you in achieving your dream?

As the participants started speaking about their dreams, everybody started listening, and joined the discussion as to how the organization could help in achieving them. Participants also pointed out some reasons as to why no progress was ever made in realizing some of the dreams:

1. Some dreams were not structured and properly defined. For example, one participant said that his dream was to see heaven while still alive. He was asked whether he has defined what heaven means to him.

2. Some dreams were already realized but the dreamer himself did not know it. For example, one participant wanted to become a scientist, as he wanted to invent something new and useful to mankind. Then he was reminded that he had already developed a process within the organization that is being used by many and as it increased their productivity.

Participants also realized as to how they can help each other to achieve their childhood dreams. The management team too made note as to what the employees want to achieve and promised that appropriate opportunities will be provided for them.

In all, the session was a success.

Do you remember your childhood dreams? Are you still passionate about them? Share them with your manager. May be he too can help you out to achieve them.

Ask others what they have learnt

In my company, we have a program called "Wissendock" ('wissen' in german means knowledge). This session acts as a platform for the employees to enhance their knowledge in various dimensions, including carreer, personality development, technology etc. Experts from various fields are also invited on a regular basis to our premises to share their thoughts and perspectives. The program has been a success since its inception, and employees look forward eagerly to this weekly session.

Last week we had a screening of the video of a speech,"Achieving Your Childhood Dreams", delivered by Randy Pausch. During the lecture, Randy speaks about the dreams that he had as a child, and how he set about achieving each one of them.

We have had many Wissendock sessions. But rarely we asked each other what they had learnt. So this time we went one step further. At the end of the session, all the attendees were asked to share what they had learnt from the video. Most of us were able to capture only one or two tips from the video. But when we listed the lessons learned by everybody, everyone was able to take back much more with him/her.

There were many notable lessons that the attendees pointed out. But one lesson that I took away was:

"Always ask people what they learned during the session. They may point out something critical that I might have missed. In this way I leverage the attention that they have paid to the speaker."

More on the lessons learnt in next post.

Love in relationship is a "decision"

My friend Priyadharshini sent me an article entitled "Am I with the right partner?" The article has some important insights.

A google search found me links to the blogs where this article has been already published. Hence I do not wish to publish it again, but will highlight the two important lessons that the article aims to teach.

1. Love in relationship is a "decision"... not just a feeling.

This sentence may contradict the myth of 'love-at-first-sight', but it is very true. When we fall in love with a person, we decide to ignore his/her short-comings. That's why, "love is blind".

2. The key to succeeding in a relationship is not finding the right person; it's learning to love the person you found.

Yes, nobody ever finds the ideal partner in life (it happens only on TV). We learn to adjust with the one whom we have found.

The article can be read here.

How to get help requests in the areas of your strength

Last week I had an opportunity to watch a video entitled "The Fulcrum Effect" by Rajesh Setty. It turned out to be not just a relaxation from routine work, but also a virtual classroom where I learnt quite a few lessons.

Amongst other points that Rajesh makes in the video, one that I found very unique was "How to get help requests in the areas of your strength, & how to say 'no' to people who ask you for help in areas in which you are not strong". He elucidates that a lot of research has been done to find out as to what is the best way to say 'no' to such requests, and there are 5 steps in which 'no' can be said.


1. Acknowledge the request: Get the confirmation as to in which area you are being asked for help. Ensure that help is not being asked in the area of your strength.

Example: If your friend asks you to review the manuscript of the book he plans to publish, then confirm whether he wants you to do just the proof-reading, or more than that.

2. Refuse politely: Say "No" in plain and simple words: "Sorry, I can't do that."

3. Explain: Give explanation as to why you can't help the person. Be truthful.

Example: Tell your friend that you are not a writer, and hence not suitable for the job.

4. Provide options: Give the person another source from where he/she can get the help.

Example: Refer your friend to someone else you know who has a good reputation for his/her writing skills.

5. State your area of strength: Inform the requester about the area in which you welcome requests for help.

Example: Tell your friend that if he wanted help in making a presentation, you would be glad to help.

If you follow the above steps, you not only empower yourself to use your time more productively, but also benefit others.

(a) You don't waste your time doing something that you are not good at.
(b) You inform your friend about the areas of your strength. This way, he will come to you when he needs help in those areas. You will then work in those areas, and become even more stronger.
(c) Your friend finds the right source for the help he requires.
(d) The person who helps your friend becomes stronger in the area of his strength.
(e) Your friendship does not suffer even though you did not help your friend.

The video has many more such insights, and it is highly recommended for everybody. The DVD is available here.

Two essential ingredients to make a speech successful

I had gone to a meeting during the last weekend. The meeting was about a cultural program that was being planned to be put up in front of a large audience. There were various aspects of the program that were touched upon by different speakers during the meeting.

Speaker 1: He welcomed the audience, and introduced the agenda for the meeting. He also set the stage for the next speaker, introducing him to the audience, and initiating the subject on which he was to speak.

Speaker 2: He spoke about the objective of the cultural program, and what role each of us, in general, will be playing the program. The audience appreciated his speech, and the tempo was set for the allocation of tasks to the various members in the audience.

Speaker 3: The third speaker was not introduced well, and more so, his subject of speech was not mentioned by anybody. He started well, and spoke with fervour & enthusiasm, but most of what he said was already known to the audience. He used a Power-point presentation, and out of the 15 (approx) slides, only 3 had the information that was new to many in the audience. Once he was through these three slides, the audience lost interest. They started watching what the others were doing, and hardly anybody paid much attention to him.

Speaker 4:He did a great job. As the audience comprised of people from 2 different groups, he broke the ice between the groups by making amusing, but not insulting, comments about either group to keep the audience interested. Finally, he also allotted the tasks to various individuals in the audience and achieved the objective of the meeting.

As the meeting concluded, I picked up two points about public-speaking:

Important ingredients to make a speech successful, among others, includes:
(a) Knowing your audience.
(b) Repairing the damage done by previous speaker.

Speaker 3 ignored the first point, whereas Speaker 4 realised that he has to take the second point also into consideration.

As I was leaving the venue, I saw Speaker 4 being congratulated for his eloquent speech by many.

How do you feel after being through TOUGH times?

" So, how do you feel when you have to go through all this?", my friend asked. I was forced into a silence of a few seconds, which my friend took as a cue to continue speaking. " Must be tough, isn't it?"

It was definitely tough. The 'all this' term referred to the downturn which the company I work in has been facing due to the economic slow-down. There have been plenty of lay-offs, at the top level as well as the levels below. I was just fortunate enough not to be asked to leave. Nevertheless, it was heart-breaking to see all the talented people who we had hired many months ago leaving us in a matter of days. I received the mails that inform me about the employee who is leaving, as I had to disable their login accounts in an in-house application. These mails had piled up in my inbox. And each time I saw these mails, I felt an uncomfortable silence within me. I begin to wonder as to when a similar mail will be sent from HR with my name being the center of attraction. Of course, I won't be receiving it.

"Yes , it has been really unfortunate period for us." was my reply.

And then came the question which made me think in a new dimension. He asked, "Then tell me, how was it when you were hiring a lot of people? How you used to feel at that time?"

It was obvious. " I used to feel happy that the company is growing."

It dawned on me then. I have been through a phase when there were only 8 people in the organization. (Yes, I was the eighth employee in my organization.) And now we are more in number, after facing the downturn. We have more visibility in market, and more products to showcase than ever. We have more revenue than we had at that time. More than that, we have more EXPERIENCE than we had at that time.

I can compare the current situation to what we were before the economic slow-down, and feel sorry about it. Or I can compare it to what we were when I had joined here, and feel proud of what I had gained.

Finally, I said to my friend , "I feel much tougher at being through the tough times."