Life Continues To Teach...

As you sow, so you reap (Part 1)

2009-11-16T10:52:00.003+05:30

" Oh God, my pencil is broken! Does anybody here has an extra pencil?"

Many faces turned towards the speaker, giving looks of disapproval. Kamal too saw the anxious face. He had a new pencil in his school-bag. His older pencil was now on the verge of extinction. Today morning he had taken out the new pencil, sharpened it carefully, and then packed it in a plastic case so that it does not get broken while he walked to school. He had been looking at the case during the first class. The thought of writing with a new pencil gave him immense joy.

Kamal looked at that boy again, who had sharpened his pencil, making it too small to hold. He was trying to write something, but it kept slipping out of the hand. The boy again looked around desperately hoping that somebody will lend him a pencil.

Kamal could not bear it anymore. He took out his new pencil, walked to the boy's seat, and quickly put the new pencil in front of the boy. He was surprised to see it, and turned round to say something. But at that moment the new teacher arrived, and Kamal slipped back to his seat.

He knew he will not get to write with a new pencil for few weeks now. And he now started to wonder why did he give the new pencil away...

Are we being made immune to help-requests?

2009-11-04T13:53:00.008+05:30

Last week, I was in market with my colleague. As we were walking along the road, an old lady approached us and asked whether we could speak Telugu language. My colleague replied in positive. The following is the conversation that took place between both of them:

Woman: Can you help me?

Colleague: Yes, tell me aunt.

W: I have come from Vijayawada with my son & daughter-in-law. I had Rs. 4,000 with me. After coming here, both of them took the money on some purpose, and went away. They have not come back. I believe they have cheated me out of money. I only have Rs. 100 with me and want to go to Vijayawada. Can you help me?

Though I am not fluent in telegu, I could understand what the woman said. I alerted my colleague in english to not to give her money before verifying the truth.

C: Aunt, there is a temple near-by. You can go there and enquire because they do help the people who are in-need.

W: No, no. They wont help me. You can, however, help me by giving the bus-fare amount.

C: No, aunt. The temple-priest will help you. Go, and approach them.

W: GO TO HELL.

It was not for the first time when I have been a witness to such an incident. I have been fooled earlier a earlier by a phony story, and many of my aquantances too have similar incidents to narrate.

The amount of money that is lost in such cases is not much. However, there is a concern here. Such incidents makes us immune /insensitive to the requests that call for genuine help. And, I don't know what will happen to me when I am in need of genuine help in middle of the road. Will anybody stop to listen?

The meeting, & the wet cloths

2009-10-26T16:20:00.003+05:30

It had rained heavily. Neha knew that she had made a mistake by walking to her office in the rain. The small umbrella was not enough to protect her from this downpour. Many times, it had almost blew out of her hand.

After reaching office, she glanced at her watch to find out that she was just in time for the important meeting. She came to her seat, and caught her friend's eye, who saw her dripping clothes.

"You will fall ill, Neha! And how can you sit for the meeting with those wet cloths? Come, I will take you to your home in my car. You can change your cloths there. Your house is so near-by, it will hardly take fifteen minutes."

"No, its OK. I can manage. I have a hand-towel in my bag. I will go to the wash-room and dry myself. We will see after the meeting", she replied.

She felt slightly better after drying herself and went to meet her manager who told her that the client for the meeting will be arriving in few minutes. He will send for her when they arrive. She came back to her seat, only to find that her friend is standing there with her hands on her hips & glaring eyes.

"You are a crazy girl! Don't sit with these wet cloths. Come let's go."

She persuaded her friend to wait till the meeting is over, as it would last just ten-fifteen minutes. She did not want to miss it.

Half-an-hour passed, and there was no news from her manager. Her friend was standing behind her once again. "Are you coming with me, or shall I ask your manager for 15 minutes leave?"

Neha was now forced to go to her manager. Even as she knocked at his door, she saw the clients coming in. They themselves were slightly wet due to the rain. The meeting started, and was over within half-an-hour. She came back to her seat. She wanted to capture the minutes-of meeting before her friend drags her out of her seat. Once done, she e-mailed the same to her manager, and other attendees. She then waited for her friend. She knew that if she did not change her cloths soon, she may fall ill. She was thankful for having such a good friend who cared so much for her.

Many minutes passed and her friend did not come to call her again. She stared at the light bulb above her. 'Great person. All the time she ate my head to change my cloths, & when I am ready, she does not come.'

' Why do you forget that when she cared for you, you gave priority to your work And now when she is giving priority to her work, you are cribbing !', the lamp said to her.

Waiting for a call that did not come (Part 4)

2009-10-19T10:31:00.004+05:30

In the evening, they went down the hill to climb it on-foot. This was a part of the pilgrimage. He asked his sister to click a photo of himself before he started climbing.

‘I want to see how I look before and after the climb. Will I be able to smile after climbing three-thousand steps?’ he asked himself.

In the beginning, it all seemed to be too easy. But as the ascent increased, the steps became steeper. The sultry weather made them sweat profusely. His sister was taking frequent rests, as her husband coaxed and encouraged her.

Soon he had climbed more than a thousand steps. His shirt was dripping with sweat. He had to sit down to catch his breath And it was then he once again remembered about the call.

'If he calls me now, I may not be able to talk to him. I should catch my breath first. I will also tell him that this climb is not easy.'

He prayed for his friend and moved on. There were other pilgrims who were climbing along with him. And soon, they became all familiar faces. Many times he overtook them. And when he sat down to take little rest, they will overtake him, smiling at him, proud of themselves that they are better than him. But soon, he will get up and start climbing, and they will watch him skip ahead of them. This game went on for many minutes, and finally the steepness of the steps decreased! The way ahead was not so steep. He bought a water bottle, and drank to celebrate the milestone. He noticed that a deer park was now visible on the left-side of the steps.

There were few deers watching the pilgrims behind the fence. Many people stopped at that spot to take rest, and entertain themselves with the deers. They were offered eatables which were lapped up eagerly. He sat watching this scene, and made a mental note to tell his friend too.

He continued climbing. As he had left his sister behind, he received an SMS from her to wait. He sat down at a comfortable place, and looked around. It was almost twilight now. The shadows on the hill were becoming darker. As he glanced through the landscape around him, he noticed the water-bottles thrown in by the devotees.

“On one side we have come for pilgrimage. On the other side, we spoil the God’s creation, the Nature itself, by piling up plastic wastes”. He felt bad about it, but could not find any dust-bin nearby where those bottles could have been thrown.

He sat waiting, and thought about his friend. He had not called yet. What could be the reason? Has he forgotten his promise? Or he does not care now that his work was already done. Tears welled up in his eyes as the face of his friend swam before him. He wiped them out before his sister arrived at the spot.

He was surprised to see that at certain spots, they had to actually climb down steps even though they were going up the hill. His brother-in-law told him that it happened because they were moving from one hill to another. Soon they were again climbing up.

They finished the climb in three and a half hours. It was pretty dark. He asked his sister to click another photo of himself. Then they went back to the guest house where they were staying.

He was tired and his legs were aching. As he lied down on the bed, he thought about his friend. He now knew that the call he had been waiting for will not come.

Any task that is on-hand should be done with single-minded concentration. Thinking of something else not only prevents one from enjoying the current task, but also takes away focus. Living in the present moment is most important. And on a pilgrimage, it is foolish to be thinking of something else other than God.

It was a tough lesson that he learned over 24 hours of suffering.

Waiting for a call that will not come (Part 3)

2009-10-09T09:09:00.003+05:30

When his eyes opened, it was broad daylight. The bus was entering a town, the name of which he could not read as he did not know the local language. Soon, the bus reached a bus-station, and almost everybody got down along with their luggage. Figuring out that this must be his destination too, he stepped out of the bus. After inquiring at the Inquiry office, he realized that he has to take one more bus to complete his journey.He called his sister, and updated her about his status.

Then he stared at the phone for many minutes. Will his friend call now? He considered calling his friend, but then decided not to. Since it was a Sunday, his friend might get up late. He did not want to disturb him. Still his mind remained clouded with his thoughts. Will he call, and ask him where had he reached? Did he eat something? Did he face any problem in a place where he did not know the language?

‘He will call. Just wait.’ He said to himself.

He sat in the bus that will take him to Tirumala. As the bus began the climb, he was reminded of his previous visit to a hill station. He looked out of the window. The city of Tirupati was spread out on the plain below the hill. It was a beautiful sight.

He reached the Tirumala town at 9:30 am. His sister was to arrive two hours later, and he had that much time to kill. The first task was to find a place to have breakfast. He found a public tap where he brushed his teeth & washed his face. Then, he located a small shop and ordered flavoured milk & bread. The taste of the milk was foreign to him, and ended up spoiling the taste in his mouth.

‘When he calls me, I will remember to tell him that flavoured milk here is not good’, he made a mental note.

He spent rest of the waiting time, praying to God, and watching the children of the pilgrims around him. They were running around the place, trying to catch each other. And then their mother will shout at them to come back to her. They will come back reluctantly, only to run away once her focus shifted to something else.

Soon his sister arrived, and he joined her. And for the first time, he forgot about the call.

Waiting for a call that may not come (Part 2)

2009-10-03T16:35:00.001+05:30

His neck ached due to constant strain. The seat had turned out not to be too comfortable after all. When he could not sleep, he prayed to God. He felt he will not sleep at all. Still, he closed his eyes, covered them with a blanket to avoid the occasional streak of light coming from street-lamps.

It was difficult to say how long he slept, but when his eyes opened, he knew it was not because of the uncomfortable position he was in. The bus was standing still. There was no sound whatsoever. He could hear only the crickets out there, chirping at night.

‘May be the bus-driver & conductor have gone for refreshments’, he thought. He lied down more comfortably now, across three seats, and he knew he will be able to sleep now.

However, it was not to be a night for good sleep. His eyes opened again. The bus had not moved at all. He waited for his eyes to adjust to the darkness, and then he could see a small building in front of the bus. Other passengers in the bus were sleeping soundly.

‘How long do they take to finish their refreshments?’ he thought.

It was time to investigate. He got down from the bus. What he thought was small building, turned out to be a lorry. The bus-driver was lying down on the road, as if he is relaxing.

“There has been an accident ahead, sahib. There is big traffic jam. We cannot continue till the road ahead is cleared”, the bus driver told him

“Doesn’t matter.” He said to himself, and came back to his seat to sleep. After some time, the bus–engine roared to life. The road ahead was finally clear, and he was travelling again. He checked his cellphone. The phone-call had not yet come.

(To be continued...)

Waiting for a call that may come (Part 1)

2009-09-27T22:36:00.004+05:30

It was Saturday evening, and the traffic on the road was not much. He reached the bus station, around 9 pm. He was scheduled to catch a bus to Tirupati. His ticket was booked for a luxury bus that was due to depart at 11:30 pm.

As he reached the bus station, he saw half a dozen buses already waiting to depart to Tirupati. Numerous bus-conductors were shouting to attract passengers to their respective buses. From far anyone would have thought that they were having an argument with each other. He smiled at this scene, politely refusing few conductors who asked him to get into their bus.

The buses were also of different types; some were with standard seats, which could be boarded with any prior reservation ; whereas others were luxury buses, have more comfortable seats, which could be pulled back to make you more comfortable. But traveling close to 6 hours in such buses was still a difficult task, as there is not much room for one to stretch his body.

It was time for dinner. Even as he wondered what to eat, he remembered what had happened earlier in the day. One of his sisters had offered to pack his dinner (rice & sambhar). He had refused the offer. But now he felt grateful to her for her concern. He sought out a small eatery, and ate the same items she had offered, thinking about her & praying for her well-being all the time.

He waited for the phone-call. He had had a conversation with his friend recently. His friend had expressed his thanks to him for the help that he had rendered to him. The friend also told him that he will call him soon. And, now, his friend may call him, ask him whether he had his dinner or not, whether he reached the bus-station in time or not, and so many other things. He knew that there was a possibility of his friend not calling him, but he waited.

He rested himself on a push-cart waiting for the bus. ‘Amazing place,’ he thought, ’Throughout the 24 hours, there is so much activity that it looks like people here never go to sleep.’ There was a big queue of the buses at the exit gate. For no apparent reason, the bus which was at the gate will stop & wait for more passengers. This would frustrate the other bus-drivers behind, and they will honk non-stop. And once that bus leaves, the one coming behind it will follow suit.

Even as he watched this commotion, he saw his bus arrive. He got into it, and confirmed his reservation with the conductor. Soon, he had settled down on his luxurious, push-back seat. The conductor informed him that the seat next to him is not booked by anybody. Even as he rejoiced over the extra space he now had to stretch himself during the long journey, an old man arrived and sat next to him. A casual conversation indicated that he had just boarded the bus, as it was less crowded compared to other buses, and had better seats. He realized that he had celebrated too early.

The bus took 30 minutes to break free out of the congested exit gate. His co-passenger had shifted to another seat, so that he could he could have the adjacent seat to himself . He closed his eyes as the bus sped through the minimal traffic of the city. And he still waited for the call. His friend would ask him whether he caught the bus or not. Was he feeling cold? Did he have a good-enough blanket to cover himself at night? Is the seat comfortable enough to sleep?

(To be continued...)

Childhood Dreams (Continuation from my previous post)

2009-09-22T12:40:00.003+05:30

As I mentioned in my previous post, all the attendees had listed down the lessons that they had learned from the Randy Pausch video. This was just the first part of the session. In a consecutive session, that was held following week, the attendees were asked to write down their childhood dreams. The coordinator then listed out the passions that are hidden behind those dreams. Then the participants were divided into pairs. Each individual in a pair had to ask the following questions from his/her partner.

What was your childhood dream?
Which passion did the dream drive? (Select from the list given)
Are you still passionate about your dream?
If no, what are you passionate about today?
What are you doing to bring your dream to become a reality?

Once everybody had the answers from his/her partner, they were asked to speak about it to the audience. In addition to the above questions, they were asked to answer two more questions:

What have you learned so far in your journey to fulfill your dream?
How can your employer help you in achieving your dream?

As the participants started speaking about their dreams, everybody started listening, and joined the discussion as to how the organization could help in achieving them. Participants also pointed out some reasons as to why no progress was ever made in realizing some of the dreams:

1. Some dreams were not structured and properly defined. For example, one participant said that his dream was to see heaven while still alive. He was asked whether he has defined what heaven means to him.

2. Some dreams were already realized but the dreamer himself did not know it. For example, one participant wanted to become a scientist, as he wanted to invent something new and useful to mankind. Then he was reminded that he had already developed a process within the organization that is being used by many and as it increased their productivity.

Participants also realized as to how they can help each other to achieve their childhood dreams. The management team too made note as to what the employees want to achieve and promised that appropriate opportunities will be provided for them.

In all, the session was a success.

Do you remember your childhood dreams? Are you still passionate about them? Share them with your manager. May be he too can help you out to achieve them.

Ask others what they have learnt

2009-08-31T15:36:00.008+05:30

In my company, we have a program called "Wissendock" ('wissen' in german means knowledge). This session acts as a platform for the employees to enhance their knowledge in various dimensions, including carreer, personality development, technology etc. Experts from various fields are also invited on a regular basis to our premises to share their thoughts and perspectives. The program has been a success since its inception, and employees look forward eagerly to this weekly session.

Last week we had a screening of the video of a speech,"Achieving Your Childhood Dreams", delivered by Randy Pausch. During the lecture, Randy speaks about the dreams that he had as a child, and how he set about achieving each one of them.

We have had many Wissendock sessions. But rarely we asked each other what they had learnt. So this time we went one step further. At the end of the session, all the attendees were asked to share what they had learnt from the video. Most of us were able to capture only one or two tips from the video. But when we listed the lessons learned by everybody, everyone was able to take back much more with him/her.

There were many notable lessons that the attendees pointed out. But one lesson that I took away was:

"Always ask people what they learned during the session. They may point out something critical that I might have missed. In this way I leverage the attention that they have paid to the speaker."

More on the lessons learnt in next post.

Love in relationship is a "decision"

2009-08-12T17:23:00.000+05:30

My friend Priyadharshini sent me an article entitled "Am I with the right partner?" The article has some important insights.

A google search found me links to the blogs where this article has been already published. Hence I do not wish to publish it again, but will highlight the two important lessons that the article aims to teach.

1. Love in relationship is a "decision"... not just a feeling.

This sentence may contradict the myth of 'love-at-first-sight', but it is very true. When we fall in love with a person, we decide to ignore his/her short-comings. That's why, "love is blind".

2. The key to succeeding in a relationship is not finding the right person; it's learning to love the person you found.

Yes, nobody ever finds the ideal partner in life (it happens only on TV). We learn to adjust with the one whom we have found.

The article can be read here.

How to get help requests in the areas of your strength

2009-07-27T12:52:00.003+05:30

Last week I had an opportunity to watch a video entitled "The Fulcrum Effect" by Rajesh Setty. It turned out to be not just a relaxation from routine work, but also a virtual classroom where I learnt quite a few lessons.

Amongst other points that Rajesh makes in the video, one that I found very unique was "How to get help requests in the areas of your strength, & how to say 'no' to people who ask you for help in areas in which you are not strong". He elucidates that a lot of research has been done to find out as to what is the best way to say 'no' to such requests, and there are 5 steps in which 'no' can be said.

1. Acknowledge the request: Get the confirmation as to in which area you are being asked for help. Ensure that help is not being asked in the area of your strength.

Example: If your friend asks you to review the manuscript of the book he plans to publish, then confirm whether he wants you to do just the proof-reading, or more than that.

2. Refuse politely: Say "No" in plain and simple words: "Sorry, I can't do that."

3. Explain: Give explanation as to why you can't help the person. Be truthful.

Example: Tell your friend that you are not a writer, and hence not suitable for the job.

4. Provide options: Give the person another source from where he/she can get the help.

Example: Refer your friend to someone else you know who has a good reputation for his/her writing skills.

5. State your area of strength: Inform the requester about the area in which you welcome requests for help.

Example: Tell your friend that if he wanted help in making a presentation, you would be glad to help.

If you follow the above steps, you not only empower yourself to use your time more productively, but also benefit others.

(a) You don't waste your time doing something that you are not good at.
(b) You inform your friend about the areas of your strength. This way, he will come to you when he needs help in those areas. You will then work in those areas, and become even more stronger.
(c) Your friend finds the right source for the help he requires.
(d) The person who helps your friend becomes stronger in the area of his strength.
(e) Your friendship does not suffer even though you did not help your friend.

The video has many more such insights, and it is highly recommended for everybody. The DVD is available here.

Two essential ingredients to make a speech successful

2009-07-20T13:21:00.004+05:30

I had gone to a meeting during the last weekend. The meeting was about a cultural program that was being planned to be put up in front of a large audience. There were various aspects of the program that were touched upon by different speakers during the meeting.

Speaker 1: He welcomed the audience, and introduced the agenda for the meeting. He also set the stage for the next speaker, introducing him to the audience, and initiating the subject on which he was to speak.

Speaker 2: He spoke about the objective of the cultural program, and what role each of us, in general, will be playing the program. The audience appreciated his speech, and the tempo was set for the allocation of tasks to the various members in the audience.

Speaker 3: The third speaker was not introduced well, and more so, his subject of speech was not mentioned by anybody. He started well, and spoke with fervour & enthusiasm, but most of what he said was already known to the audience. He used a Power-point presentation, and out of the 15 (approx) slides, only 3 had the information that was new to many in the audience. Once he was through these three slides, the audience lost interest. They started watching what the others were doing, and hardly anybody paid much attention to him.

Speaker 4:He did a great job. As the audience comprised of people from 2 different groups, he broke the ice between the groups by making amusing, but not insulting, comments about either group to keep the audience interested. Finally, he also allotted the tasks to various individuals in the audience and achieved the objective of the meeting.

As the meeting concluded, I picked up two points about public-speaking:

Important ingredients to make a speech successful, among others, includes:
(a) Knowing your audience.
(b) Repairing the damage done by previous speaker.

Speaker 3 ignored the first point, whereas Speaker 4 realised that he has to take the second point also into consideration.

As I was leaving the venue, I saw Speaker 4 being congratulated for his eloquent speech by many.

How do you feel after being through TOUGH times?

2009-07-13T18:58:00.002+05:30

" So, how do you feel when you have to go through all this?", my friend asked. I was forced into a silence of a few seconds, which my friend took as a cue to continue speaking. " Must be tough, isn't it?"

It was definitely tough. The 'all this' term referred to the downturn which the company I work in has been facing due to the economic slow-down. There have been plenty of lay-offs, at the top level as well as the levels below. I was just fortunate enough not to be asked to leave. Nevertheless, it was heart-breaking to see all the talented people who we had hired many months ago leaving us in a matter of days. I received the mails that inform me about the employee who is leaving, as I had to disable their login accounts in an in-house application. These mails had piled up in my inbox. And each time I saw these mails, I felt an uncomfortable silence within me. I begin to wonder as to when a similar mail will be sent from HR with my name being the center of attraction. Of course, I won't be receiving it.

"Yes , it has been really unfortunate period for us." was my reply.

And then came the question which made me think in a new dimension. He asked, "Then tell me, how was it when you were hiring a lot of people? How you used to feel at that time?"

It was obvious. " I used to feel happy that the company is growing."

It dawned on me then. I have been through a phase when there were only 8 people in the organization. (Yes, I was the eighth employee in my organization.) And now we are more in number, after facing the downturn. We have more visibility in market, and more products to showcase than ever. We have more revenue than we had at that time. More than that, we have more EXPERIENCE than we had at that time.

I can compare the current situation to what we were before the economic slow-down, and feel sorry about it. Or I can compare it to what we were when I had joined here, and feel proud of what I had gained.

Finally, I said to my friend , "I feel much tougher at being through the tough times."

Quotes on life

2009-05-28T13:21:00.004+05:30

My friend Vikas recently sent me few quotes, which I found to be very inspiring. These quotes make one accept the reality & help prepare for tough times that everyone inevitably goes through in life.

Though most of these quotes are very popular, it is worth reading them once again & assure ourselves that whatever we are doing, we are on our journey to achieve the goal that we have set for ourselves.

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Success:

Without your involvement you can't succeed. With your involvement you can't fail.

What is the secret of Success... ?
"Right Decisions"
How do you make Right Decisions... ?
"Through Experience"
How do you get Experience.. . ?
"While making wrong decisions in the past..! “
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Strength:

If you know the strength and patience, welcome the company of trees.
- Hal Borland

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Actions:

You are not responsible for what people think about you. But you are responsible for what you give them to think about you.
-Stanley Ferrard

Don't make promise when you are in Joy . Don't reply when you are Sad. Don't take decisions when you are Angry.

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Happiness:

The happiest people do not necessarily have the best of all. They simply appreciate what they find on their way.

Write your Sad times in Sand. Write your Good times in Stone.
- George Bernard Shaw

Easy to receive. Difficult to give.

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Love:

It's better to lose your Ego to the one you Love, than to lose the one you Love because of Ego.
-John Keats

Easy to say we love. Difficult to demonstrate it every day.

A man is lucky if he is the first love of a Woman. A woman is lucky if she is the last love of a man.
- Charles Dickens

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Are you moving away from your friends?

2009-04-15T13:08:00.002+05:30

Recently I had gone to Agra for some personal work. I had done my schooling there & had a lot of friends at that time. That was 13 years ago. So this time I wished to catch up with my old friends. After a little struggle, I was able to meet one of my friends, Satya.

Satya, as I remember, was a typical guy. He had lots of friends, including me. But I was not his best friend as we had lot of differences too between us. Nevertheless, it was good to see him again, & we chatted for a couple of hours catching up on each other.

Satya told me that he had lost many friends in the past years as many had moved out of Agra for further studies or some other reason. It was a very painful for him to see his friends go away. Finally he decided not have close friends any more. He had stopped calling his friends for casual chats, and refused to meet them during the weekends. He was feeling miserable at the moment, but thought he will get used to a life without close friends soon, and be his normal self once again. This he was doing to prevent himself from undergoing any more separation from his friends who may go away in the future.

I was really surprised to hear that Satya, who likes to be surrounded by friends, has decided to shun away from companionship. I could only admire his resolve to change his nature to such a great extent.

I contemplated on this during a long train journey back home couple of days later. I realised that there were certain flaws in his method to avoid pain.

1.Love thrives when people are in touch. By avoiding his friends, Satya himself is sending away his friends. This is causing pain to him already, and it is the same pain that he wishes to avoid.

2.He is sending away his friends who may stick with him for a long time, as they may not plan to leave place where they have spent so many years of their life.

3.He is causing pain to his friends by moving away from them without any apparent reason. His friends won’t know why he is avoiding them. And when they hear the truth, Satya may be looked upon as a person who is selfish & contacts others only when he requires help.

4.He will not be able to call anyone for help when he really needs it, because after some time his friends will start avoiding him too.

After doing the above analysis, I called up Satya to inform him what I had discovered and to ask him to stop this appproach. But he did not receive the call as he wished to avoid me.

The bread slices & jam sachet

2009-04-10T09:53:00.001+05:30

Positive thinking can make one feel good or bad in same situation.

“Sir, your breakfast.”

Mohan put the newspaper down as the waiter put the breakfast tray in front of him. Next to him, Vinod was already opening his breakfast package.

“The food provided in Rajdhani Exp is really better than in other trains. Isn’t it?” asked Vinod.

“Yes” replied Mohan. He unwrapped the plain bread slices out of the covering. There was a bowl of Upma and one Vada with chutney. With the bread slices, a butter sachet, & a jam sachet were provided. He opened the jam sachet & applied the jam on a slice.

‘Why can’t they give enough jam so that it can be applied on both the slices? It is too less. Why such a small sachet’ thought Mohan sourly.

“Wow Mohan, did you see that?” exclaimed Vinod. “They have given such big slices of bread that one jam sachet is just not enough! We can consume one more jam sachet with this pair of bread slices.”

“........”

Madhav's Folly

2009-03-30T17:02:00.006+05:30

An incident from a professional's life who was bored while sitting for the same presentation over & over again...

Madhav set the over-head projector on the table and checked the projection on the screen. It was fine. He then opened the powerpoint presentation and ran the entire slide-show once. Once he was satisfied, he sat on the corner chair, waiting for his senior Kishore to arrive & begin the presentation to the prospective clients.

Madhav had done very well in the last few months on his job. His manager had given him a good review of his work, and he did get a reasonable salary-hike. But the promotion that he wanted never came. He still wondered as to how long he will have to wait to get good designation under his name.

Reminiscence of the past were broken by the sound of the door opening. Madhav got up to greet Kishore, but was surprised to see the his manager walk in.

'Good morning sir. How are you doing? Are you too going to attend this sales presentation?'

'No Madhav.' his manager said. ' Kishore called me up just now. He is stuck in a heavy traffic jam due a political rally, and won't be here in time. Can you make the presentation? I will send the audience in.'

'What?' Madhav was aghast. 'I am not ready sir. I have not prepared for it.'

'Hey, come on Madhav. You have attended this presentation so many times. You don't need to prepare. Am I wrong?'

It was then Madhav realized his folly. He had sat through the presentation innumerable times. But he never listened to it. He knew all the jokes cracked by Kishore but he did not know in what context those jokes were told. He knew the sequence of all the slides. But he did not know what each slide exactly conveyed. For him, it was same old story told over & over again. But he never bothered to listen to that story. While Kishore was gave the presentation, he would browse the Internet on his laptop for the latest movie he wanted to watch, or the latest score of international cricket match involving India

And now, when there was a chance to prove to his manager that he was as good as Kishore in giving presentations, he was going to miss out. If only he would have been attentive earlier & given this presentation today, life was going to be different.

Madhav sat down on the chair with a heavy heart. Outside he could hear his manager speaking on the phone to audience apologizing for the postponement of the meeting.

Why we shout when we are angry?

2009-03-20T10:18:00.002+05:30

I received the following gem from my sister Meenu. This is a great reading.

A saint asked his disciples, 'Why do we shout in anger? Why do people shout at each other when they are upset?'

Disciples thought for a while, one of them said, 'Because we lose our calm, we shout for that.'

'But, why to shout when the other person is just next to you?' asked the saint. 'Isn't it possible to speak to him or her with a soft voice? Why do you shout at a person when you're angry?'

Another answer came, ' By shouting we let out our frustration.'

But the saint was not satisfied. Finally he explained, 'When two people are angry at each other, their hearts distance a lot. To cover that distance they must shout to be able to hear each other. The angrier they are, the stronger they will have to shout to hear each other through that great distance.'

The saint continued, 'What happens when two people are in love? They don't shout at each other but talk softly, why? Because their hearts are very close. The distance between them is very small... 'When they love each other even more, what happens? They do not speak, only whisper and they get even closer to each other in their love. Finally they even need not whisper, they only look at each other and that's all. That is how close two people are when they love each other.'

MORAL: When you argue do not let your hearts get distant, do not say words that distance each other more, else there will come a day when the distance is so great that you will not find the path to return.

'Am I egoistic?'

2009-03-09T09:21:00.000+05:30

It was written all across his face that he was very happy. Vinod emptied the glass of water and then asked him, “I can tell by looking at your face that something has happened & now you are at truce with Sudha. Am I right?”

Ganesh sighed. “Yes. You are too good a psychologist. It was a bit of problem which we resolved finally. The last week’s fight was very bad. We were sleeping in separate rooms. And we were not on talking terms too. She prepared breakfast & lunch for me in the morning and then entered the bathroom, and won’t come out till I leave for office. When I come in the evening, food will be on the table, she will be sleeping in her room. But finally we started to miss each other. Yesterday I bought her favourite ice-cream, went to her room. She was pretending to sleep. But I forcefully woke her up, and gave the ice-cream. And rest is history. We apologised to each other and the same good old days are back now.”

“Good to hear that. I did not like your sullen & unshaven face last week” laughed Vinod.

“But I don’t understand one thing Vinod” Ganesh said. “I love Sudha more than my life. We have been married for many months now. We do have our small misunderstandings. But the day this misunderstanding came up, I started hating her. After our fight, she went to the living room to watch TV. She was watching her favourite comedy serial, and was laughing at those silly jokes made by the actors. But I was feeling very jealous inside myself. Seeing her laugh was making my blood boil. I wished that power goes off, or our TV goes out of order and she is not able to watch the serial. I wanted her to keep crying till she comes back to me. Similarly, when she was talking to the neighbour in the evening, she was enjoying her time. I just wanted to bash both their faces at that time. But after we made up last night, I wonder how could I have such ghastly thoughts about her? After all, I love her.”

Vinod continued to sip his juice as he smiled at Ganesh. “You mean you wished ill for Sudha when both of you were fighting?”

“Yes. Very much. And I am ashamed of it. Do you think I love her?”

“Tell me one thing” Vinod asked. “Whose was guilty of the argument? Was it your mistake or hers?”

“How does it matter Vinod? We apologised to each other & we are happy now. Everything has been forgiven.”

“Who apologised first? You or her?”

“It was me, “Ganesh said. “I took the ice-cream to her and said that I was sorry. She immediately responded by saying sorry.”

“You said sorry first even though it was not necessarily your mistake. Am I right?”

“Yes. May be I was wrong. May be not. But both of us apologised to each other.”

“Then you love her. No doubt about it. Love requires swallowing ones ego. You did that, though it was after few days. You love her. And she said sorry immediately after you apologised. So she loves you too.”

“Then why did I think of hurting her?”

“Ego.”

“Ego?”

“Yes ego. After you fought, it was your ego which demanded that Sudha cannot be happy without you. It wanted to hurt her. It always wants you to feel important. It wants to prove that you are such an important person in her life that she cannot remain happy even for a moment without you. It wanted to cut-off all other sources of her happiness, so that she depends only upon you for her happiness.”

“So you mean I am egoistic?”

“We all are, to some degree.”

“But just now you told I swallowed my ego? And proved that I really love her..!”

“Yes. You were egoistic when you thought of hurting her. Ego blinds us more than love. That’s why, even though you love Sudha, you wanted TV or the neighbour to go away. But later, love overcame ego. You decided to apologise. You took the first step. Love triumphed over ego.”

“I see...My God! I never thought that way” Ganesh said.

“You will get it. Think about it. When we love somebody we always say, ‘your happiness is my happiness’. Don’t we? But what happens when we fight or argue? Isn’t other’s happiness not our happiness at that point too? It is.”

“Then what happens?”

“Always remember, if 2 people, who say they love each other are having a fight, watch for the one who starts shouting first. When he starts shouting, his ego has overcome his love for the other person. The other person will not shout till his ego is hurt by the shouting from the first one.

“So you mean to say I need to overcome my ego?”

“You already did once. Next time, let it not take few days, but few hours. And going forward let it be few minutes.”

“You are right. Then I will not have to suffer so much.”

“I don’t know, who among you shouted first, and whose mistake was it overall. But I know, Sudha is lucky to have you as life-partner. You will ensure that the relationship lasts long.”

“Thanks Vinod” Ganesh chuckled.

“Still I wonder Ganesh. Why did not she approach you first to apologise?”

“...........”

(Based on a true incident.)

Four destructive phrases that should be avoided in discussions

2009-02-26T08:30:00.000+05:30

After I wasted a weekend, as I mentioned in my last post, I did plan my next weekend in a much better manner. And it went well. What did not go well was the week after the weekend. I had a very big mis-understanding with one of my closest friends. There were lot of arguments & counter-arguments, and feelings were hurt. Fortunately, the fires have died down now & things are starting to become normal again.

When the mis-understanding first came up, I sat with my friend to discuss the issue. Many times these discussions became arguments. You may ask what is the difference in discussion & arguments in this case. What I saw was that we started the discussion with the purpose of resolving the issue. But during the discussion the attitude of the participants changed, & towards the end we were speaking to prove our point, to prove that one was right and other was wrong, and not to resolve the issue. As this happened again & again, I began to look for those word & phrases that changed a constructive discussion into a destructive argument. I came up with the following list:

1. Its not my problem (or 'it is your problem'): The best discussion buster. You can be assured that the moment one person uses this phrase, he indicates that he no longer feels he needs to do anything to resolve the issue. In fact, he feels that he does not have to do anything with the issue, and should not be dragged in the discussion to resolve the problem. The other person(s) is solely responsible to do the fire-fighting.

I have worked few good managers, and some not-so-good-managers in my workplace. The good managers never use this phrase during any discussion even when the issue is actually 'not their problem'. The not-so-good-managers tend to use this more often and put the blame on somebody else.

2. I am like that only: May not be a grammatically correct phrase, but I have heard it being used many times. When somebody says this, he means that he is not going to change his behaviour/actions to resolve the issue, or prevent it from cropping up later on. He does not want to change his nature. The other person has to work within this extra constraint and still resolve the problem. I have been defeated in many arguments by this phrase alone. I have a simple philosophy: Accept people as they are, and do not try to transform them. Instead, change yourself. And when somebody says this phrase to me, I cannot argue back as it goes against my policy!

3. What's the use?: This phrase may not be heard as often as the other two mentioned above, but is equally effective in creating bitterness between people. I told my friend about all the efforts I was making to bring our relationship back to normal, and he asked me, 'what's the use'? :-( I was expecting an appreciation for the efforts I was making, and such a question added insult to injury.

In addition to the above three, there is one more phrase that is used very commonly by many of us. This did not come up during the arguments with my friend, but I have observed its negativity very often.

4. I told you so!: Very commonly used, and very effective if you want to put somebody down. We all use it when at the 'right' time, when we know we were right all the way & the other person never listened to us, continued in his own way & finally tasted failure. I ask myself, do I really need to speak it out? Why don't I comfort him after his failure? All the effort he had put in has not borne the results he was looking for, and is disappointed. And, after his failure, he anyway realizes that I was right, and I had told him so.

There are many more phrases that can be destructive. If you know, please put them in the comments below.

A weekend wasted :-(

2009-02-17T09:45:00.000+05:30

We all look forward top weekends, at least I do. And I wish my weekend to be more satisfying than the previous one. I had planned my weekend in advance this time. My plan was as follows:

1. Saturday: Travel with a colleague to a holy place outside the city, and have good outing.
2. Sunday: Helping my neighbour in packing the household luggage, as he was shifting to a new house.

I was pretty happy with this advance planning and knew that this weekend is going to be very satisfactory for me. Comes Saturday & all these plans went for a toss.

(a) Saturday: We had to leave at 5:30 am in the morning, but I got up from sleep only at 5:15 am. 15 minutes was never going to be sufficient to get ready and join the entire party with whom I was travelling. So Saturday's plan went down the drain.

(b) Sunday: My neighbour had organized for house-warming ceremony for the new house. It consisted of havan, (a ritualistic worship of the new house), lunch for the guests, and bhajans (singing of devotional songs). I had received an itinerary of the program, but I did not bother to read it, thinking that all I knew was that he is shifting on Sunday, and that's all I need to know. But, due to this schedule, he spent entire day at the new house, taking care of the ceremony, and there was no packing & shifting. Again, my plan of spending a day fruitfully went in vain.

I made following observations after wasting my weekend:

1. I need to always have an alternate plan. (I usually have, but this weekend I did not, as everything was fixed & nothing seemed to have any possibility of going wrong. My colleague did go to the holy place, and my neighbour did shift his house).
2. Just because things do not go as we planned, we should not waste time ruing about it. (I confess that I spent my Saturday cursing myself that I did not get up early. This guilt consumed what could have been a wonderful Saturday for me.)

I have not yet planned for the coming weekend. But, this time I know it won't be this fruitless.

Be Thankful...

2008-05-16T09:20:00.000+05:30

It's easy to be thankful for the good things in life. But a life of rich fulfillment comes to those, who are also thankful for their setbacks. The following lines make us aware of those things that are valuable to us, but we don't realize their importance.

Thanks to my friend Prashant C P for sending the same :-)

Be thankful, that you don't have everything you desire.
If you did, what would there be to look forward to?

Be thankful, when you don't know something.
For it gives you the opportunity to learn.

Be thankful, for the difficult times.
It is during those times that you grow.

Be thankful, for your limitations.
Because they give you opportunities for improvement.

Be thankful, for each new challenge.
For that will build your strength and character.

Be thankful, for your mistakes.
They will teach you valuable lessons.

Be thankful, when you're tired and weary.
Because it means you've made an effort.

Fire exit not for customer..!

2008-03-19T19:04:00.000+05:30

When we are in business, each and everything, that a customer sees about us, makes a deep impact on his perception of ourselves. Recently I went to a restaurant with my team for lunch. There, the fire-exit door caught my eye. Below is the pic of same:

Now, is the message clear?

Learn from others' mistake

2008-02-26T19:28:00.000+05:30

This is the story of 2 friends; Ginny & Cathy. Both worked in the same firm, and liked each other a lot. Ginny had migrated from her home-village, away from her parents, and earned a living by working for this firm. Cathy was the only daughter of a wealthy businessman of the town. There was no need for her to work, as her father earned enough for the family. But working for the firm gave her confidence in self, and she enjoyed working with Ginny. As Ginny was poor, sometimes Cathy used to give her a drop in the evening to his lodging on her bike. The ride used to take 1 hour, and gave ample opportunities to both of them to discuss their joys and sorrows with each other.

Ginny considered their friendship as sacred. She knew that she had got a good friend, whom she should not trouble at any cost. Cathy too shared this view.

Soon there was news that the firm was going to hire some new workers, and the current workers can bring in their friends, and relatives who may be hired. Cathy knew one girl, Tina, who lived near-by her house and was looking out to work somewhere. Cathy spoke to her when she got to her home, and then next day Tina too came to the firm to apply for the job. Fortunately, she was hired on the same day, and told to come to work from next day onwards.

Tina joined the firm next day, and Cathy introduced her to Ginny. Ginny was impressed by Tina's personality and was happy that such a good person has joined the firm. As it was her first day, she helped Tina in whatever way she could, to get her familiar with the work. In the evening, Ginny asked Cathy to drop Tina to her house, as both of them stayed near-by to each other. Ginny had no problem in going by the local bus. She had been used to it for along time.

Soon Tina became an integral part of the firm. Everybody liked her serene nature, and she made many friends in short time. Still she did not forget the help given to her by Cathy and Ginny, and used to spend time regularly with them.

After some time, Ginny began to notice a change in Cathy's behavior. She started leaving early in the evening, and won't even ask Ginny as to what time will she leave, and could she give a drop to him. Ginny also noticed that Tina accompanies Cathy more often to her home. When Ginny asked Cathy about this behavior of hers, Cathy smiled and said “It’s between us. We both are good friends, and there are some things that we cannot share with anybody.” Ginny was surprised with this response, but did not respond. After all, he thought, Cathy is happy with her new friend, and that is what Ginny wanted.

But soon Ginny found out that she did not have time to speak to Cathy. During the day, both were busy with their work, and the evening ride, that was the time when they could speak to each other, was no more existent. Ginny started feeling depressed about it, and felt that there was no point in speaking to Cathy anymore. When Cathy will greet her in the morning, she would not reply to her properly, pretending to be extremely busy. Then in the evening too, when Cathy will come to say good-bye to her before leaving to her home, Ginny made it a habit to go to some-body else’ workplace, so that Cathy won’t find her.

The one day suddenly Cathy came to Ginny during working hours. Ginny could not believe that Cathy has come to meet her, and not just to say good-morning or good-bye. Cathy looked very upset. Ginny asked her, “What happened to you? You look terribly upset.”

Cathy said, “You know Ginny. Yesterday I had to leave early. Some guests were expected at home, and I had to go and help my mother prepare dinner for them. So I could not wait for Tina to finish her work, and drop her. Now she is so angry with me that she has not spoken to me since morning. She even refuses to look at me. Is that how friends are? Till yesterday, she used to tell everybody that I am her best friend at the firm. Does her speaking to me depends upon whether I drop her or not?”

Ginny knew her mistake immediately. She too had fallen in the same trap in which Tina has fallen. She too had stopped interacting with Cathy since she had stopped dropping her to home in the evening. The only difference between Ginny and Tina was that Tina had expressed how she felt, but Ginny had not.

Ginny now realized that he could still learn from Tina’s mistake. She will prove herself better than Tina. She will speak to Cathy, irrespective of whether she drops her home or not. She had finally learned a lesson from somebody else’ mistake.

The above narration is a real incident, to which I have been a witness. I hope Ginny, Cathy & Tina are listening...

"Malls threaten local market". Really?

2008-01-31T09:17:00.000+05:30

It was nearly one year ago. I had read a piece of news in one of the national newspaper. This piece of news mentioned a mob consisting of local traders attacking a newly-opened shopping mall. The so-called leadership of this mob had proclaimed that they want to protect the local market from this western culture. (Click here to read a related article. I am not able to find the one which I read.)

The news made me wonder as to how a mall can threaten the local market. If the mall sells the items cheaper than the market, then it can endanger the existence of near-by shops. But again, the quality of the items matters. If the local shops sell good quality products, then the customers will continue to go to trusted shops. And in the end, competition is good for everybody.

It was not until many months later that I learnt the exact reason for this outburst from my mother. She told me the way traders and shop-keepers continue to cheat the customer. One of the easy way is to have the good-quality items displayed, in small quantities, at the front of the shop. When the customer decides to buy one of them, the shop-keeper goes inside the shop, where the larger stock is kept, and give it to the customer. The quality, of course, will not be the same. Another way, which is very popular among the fruits and vegetable vendors, is worth mentioning. If a piece is rotten, it is kept in such a way that the customer cannot see its rotten face, but the vendor can see it. Later, when the customer is selecting the best pieces and putting them on the weighing scale, the shop-keeper 'assists' the customer, and puts the rotten ones too, and then hurries to pack the entire lot, and hands it over to the customer.

Compared to this, in a shopping mall, the customer is not hurried by anybody, and s/he has enough time to select the best pieces available to him/her. The only demerit of a mall is that the customer has to wait in queue to pay the bill.

I don't know whether there is a future for another mall in that area. In the news item, to which link has been given, the State Govt. has requested the mall to be closed due to the disturbances caused in the area.

Thanksgiving

2007-11-30T16:07:00.000+05:30

Yesterday we had a special team-lunch. The QA team in our organization had been declared as an independent body few months ago, but there had not been many occasions to get together on a personal front. All we had done earlier was to indulge in meetings that were meant to discuss pending issues and difficulties. But yesterday’s was a fun outing where the members got to know each other on a personal front rather than professional one.

We journeyed for around 20 minutes to a well-known restaurant, and sat down as a group (9 of us) on 2 tables that were placed next to each other for our convenience. As we were going through the starters, our QA Lead, Ravi, came up with a unique activity. He asked everyone to get up from their chair, walk up, and thank the person who has helped them most in the last one year. He also told that he should be counted out of this, and nobody should come and thank him.

Then followed what can be described as moment to remember, as each one of us went round the table and shook hand with the person who has helped us most in the past one year. One could see the joy on the person’s face who got up to thank, and an equal amount of satisfaction on the recipient’s face. This exercise gave all of us an insight into the helpful nature of people whom we know just as colleagues and professionals. The entire exercise lasted just 5 minutes but it had a huge impact on everybody present. Those who had helped others were much more motivated to continue to do so, and broaden their spectrum on this arena.

There was, however, one particular trait that came out of this exercise. If the person A was thanked by B and C, then A will invariably go to one of them to thank him/her in return. There was a mutual feeling of helping each other among the group. This reflects that well-known saying that what you give comes back many folds to you.

May be you too can try out in a team-meeting of yours. Do not get shocked if you get surprising results.

Customer Delight

2007-10-30T15:40:00.000+05:30

Today I went to a road-side shop with my friend to buy a tender coconut. The shop-keeper was a lady, around 45 years of age. The shop was nothing but a pile of coconuts kept on a plastic carpet, under a shade. My friend ordered a coconut. The lady picked the one chosen by my friend, then sliced it enough so that the water within can be sipped using a straw, and handed it over to him. My friend sipped the delicious water, and then handed over the coconut back to her. She again sliced it open so that my friend can eat the content within. For eating that my friend had to use his hands. Once he was done, the lady opened a water bottle, and helped him wash his hands too. That was all over, and we walked away.

It was after some time that I realized the extra effort that lady had put to delight her customers. I have visited a lot of similar shops to buy tender coconut, but never I saw any shop-keeper offer water to customers to wash their hands. Every time, I had to wipe my hands clean with my kerchief.

How much effort does it take for giving water? But it makes a lot of difference…

A not so good experience in KSRTC Volvo bus

2007-09-27T17:20:00.000+05:30

Am I right when I say that people, in general, are greedy? You may not agree with that. Let me share a recent experience of mine, then you decide whether you agree with me or not.

I was taking a bus from Puttaparthy to Bangalore last Sunday. It was a Volvo bus, run by KSRTC (Karnataka State Road Transport Corporation). This bus is a luxury bus, and passengers are charged a premium. Of course, the expectations from the passengers are also high. They expect a good-service, which includes on-time pickup and drop, well-mannered staff, and the other freebies, like the mineral-water served to each passenger, and a good movie, which may be played during the 4-hour journey.

One special feature of this bus was that there was only one staff member allotted. He performs the role of the driver as well as the bus-conductor. When I boarded the bus, he checked my ticket, and then made a note in his record-book. I made my way to the seat allotted to me, and settled down comfortably. Soon all the passengers were on-board and the conductor (or the driver, as we may call him) came to check whether all seats were occupied or not. He came near my seat, and then looked up at a lady who was travelling with her 2 sons. She was in her early 30s. The conductor asked her to as to who were the children with her. She pointed out both of them to him. The younger son was around 6 years, and the elder 11.

The problem started regarding the elder son. The conductor refused to believe that the elder son was 11 years. According to him, he was 12 years old, and she should pay extra fare for him. (Bus-fare for children below 12 years of age is half the fare of an adult passenger.) The lady refused to do so as she insisted that her son was below 12. She had booked the ticket through the Internet, and on the KSRTC website there was no indication asking the passengers to carry any proof-of-age. Thus she did not have any document to prove that she was right. The conductor was not ready to give up. The matter erupted into heated argument, till another passenger interrupted. He was a decent looking man with an air of authority around him. He softly, but firmly, told the conductor that he had no choice, but to believe the mother. No rule exists that will support his cause as mother's word will be taken as the final one in front of any authority of the law. The conductor continued to crib, said that they might encounter a problem on the way, and then left. Soon the bus started, we reached our destination 4 hours later without any discomfort.

I wondered what was the real motive of the conductor to raise this issue. Did he not know the rules? Or was he trying to get some 'extra income'? Did he target that woman because she was without a male escort?

I went to the KSRTC website, but did not find a link where I could register my complaint :-(

Do we lose our identity when we change ourselves?

2007-08-30T11:43:00.000+05:30

Recently I had a conversation with a friend of mine. (Let us call him Ram.) It was just a casual conversation. We were asking each other as to what is going on in other’s life. He mentioned that he had been through a rift with one of his friend, and had sorted it out earlier in the day by talking to her.

It popped out during their conversation that Ram's friend wanted him to change some of his ways of doing things. But Ram was reluctant to change. The reason, he cited, was very simple. According to him, if he changes himself, he will lose his identity, which he did not want to. If he changes himself for sake of just one person, he will not remain Ram. He will not be the same Ram whom people know. For all his friends, Ram stands for something; a particular type of behaviour, a particular way of speaking, walking, eating habits, and other dimensions that make up his personality. If he starts changing these traits, just because one person out of billions on this earth asked him to do so, is it really worth it?

The conversation ended at that and I was left thinking about what Ram had said. At times, others ask us to change our particular personality trait. At other times, we admire people around us, and we wish to become like them. I have personally experienced this situation. I used to admire one senior student in my college days (I still admire him today). He is very popular among people around him. He has a very good sense of humour, is very helpful, and a good singer too. He also meets everybody with enthusiasm, and has never been known to become angry. I wanted to inculcate the same personality traits in me and become as popular as him. I knew I cannot become a good singer overnight. But I thought I can copy his other traits and embed them into my personality. I did that & failed miserably. The reason being the difference between my nature and his nature. I realized that my way of approaching people is slightly different from the way he approaches others.

When Ram spoke to me, I was reminded of this failure of mine. Most of me agreed that he Ram has got it right, but somewhere at the back of my mind, I knew that I had missed something vital. I discussed this point with a colleague of mine. I know her as an open-minded person, & whom I admire for simplicity & clarity of thoughts. Thanks to her, I learned the following lessons:

Change is inevitable. Whether we like it or not, we change; our personality changes regularly. We are not the same person what we were 6 months ago.
If somebody has asked us to change a particular habit of ours, which means that he wants us to become a better person, and thus he cares for us. We should be thankful to that person to bring it to our notice.
We should not hesitate to try. If we change that particular habit of ours, and other people around us give positive feedback about the change, the change is worth making. On the other hand, if the people around us say that they did not like the new change in us, we can revert back to what we were earlier (which will be very easy).
When our friend sees that we changed after he has asked us to, he realizes that we value his words. In turn, he too starts giving value to our words.
People around us see us as a more flexible and open-minded individual.

In conclusion, I would say, when we change our personality after somebody’s feedback, it is not that we become somebody else. But, our personality becomes better. Others may start liking us and then they may like to become like us. Overall, we gain more friends, and become more popular.

Ram….are you listening?

Helping a stranger -3

2007-08-28T15:12:00.000+05:30

I have written about my encounters with strangers very often. This is another one in the chain. All of these encounters are similar in nature, where the person wanted some help, and the following one is no different.

I was walking after leaving the office, and then suddenly this man stopped me. He was well dressed, around 30, and had a confident air around him. He told me that his pocket had been picked earlier in the day, and he had no money to go ahead. He needed to go to the Main Bus Stand in Bangalore (fondly called as ‘Majestic’ by the local people here), and from there he wishes to go to his home. He also told that he was an IT professional, working in a well-known company, and he will return my money.

The story was OK so far. But when he asked me to give Rs. 60 for the fare, I was a bit surprised. I told him that if he needed to go to Majestic, he needed just Rs. 10 as bus-fare. And if he wishes to go somewhere else from Majestic, still the bus-fare will not exceed more then another Rs.10. So, I gave him Rs. 20 as the total bus-fare for his journey. He thanked me & moved on his way. I moved ahead on my path. And then it struck me!

He had told that he had lost his identity card too. In Bangalore, most of the companies issue identity card so big, that it will not fit into a wallet. Secondly, most of the employees wear the identity card at home before starting to office, and take it out only after they are back at home at the end of the day. There was no way this man would have lost his identity card. So, I concluded, his entire story was phoney.

And at last, I concluded, I have been cheated by him ………………..of Rs 20.

Attend to others' need first...

2007-07-22T15:37:00.000+05:30

This happened a couple of weeks back. I went to a shop to buy a loaf of bread. There were quite a few customers already and I could make out that I will have to wait at least 5-6 minutes before my turn comes.

'Why not take out money in the mean-time...' was the thought that crossed my mind. I acted upon it and was ready with the exact change in my hand in a few seconds. As I lazily stood at the counter, waiting for my turn to come, I placed my hand holding the money on the front-desk. The shop-keeper, who had gone inside to fetch some items for other customers, came back to the counter with his hands full. He kept all the items on the front-desk. Next he took the money from my hand as he asked what I wanted. I told, and got the bread-loaf immediately.

As I walked away, I heard a customer grumbling that he had arrived before me but he has not been served yet. The shopkeeper started attending to that person next.

Lesson learnt: Attend to others' need first, and your needs will be addressed by them without asking.

Normally, we first select the item to purchase, and then we pay for it. But if we show the money first, and then place the order, the delivery is faster.

A stranger hurt on the road...

2007-07-10T10:41:00.000+05:30

Traffic is one of the most spoken-about problems in Bangalore. Generally it takes around 20 minutes to travel a distance of 2 kms within the city limits. More traffic also means more road accidents. I walk around 2 kms daily from my home to office. And in a span of 7 days, I am a witness to at least one accident, unfortunately.

A day ago, I just saw a young woman (well-dressed, indicating that she was working) sitting on the road, grimacing with pain. Apparently, a 2-wheeler had just hit her, though not severely, seconds ago. I think she was hit on her leg as she was holding her leg with both hands. She did not seem to be seriously injured at all, but she was not getting up. I thought of helping her, and took a step towards her. And then following thoughts crossed my mind:

What will she think?

(In India, if a man approaches a woman, it is not taken with a good node by the people around. They immediately jump to conclusion that the man is trying to attract/impress/flirt with the girl. This prompts the women to evade any approach by a man, even if it is for a good purpose.)

What will others think?

(I always think of myself as a person who does not bother what others have to say, if I know that I am on the right path. Today it proved to be false. I do think what others think about me. I know that I need to come out of this groove; I will definitely work towards it.)

Will I have to shell-out some money if I take her to hospital, even for a superficial check-up?

(Money is a constraint for me these days. But I hope this can change over time when I can afford to help other financially in a similar situation.)

Can I explain her that I am there to help her & mean no harm?

(I am not a native of Bangalore & do not know the local language. And it will need some effort to learn it. Right now its not a high priority for me as I am concentrating more on my career.)

Above thoughts clouded my mind so much that I retraced my steps and continued on my way to office. There was one question; however which was answered by me:

What would have I done if the woman was my sister?

I know I could have gone ahead and help the person. But looks like I am yet to evolve…

Sometimes we have to pay to help others

2007-07-06T09:54:00.000+05:30

The other day when I arrived at my office in the morning, I saw a young-one of a Squirrel lying on the ground near the office building. It had fallen from its nest, which was located on a ventilator on the 3rd floor of the building next to our office. Soon many of my colleagues arrived and all of us felt pity for it. It was helpless, and leaving it there would mean death for sure as crows or ants will finally get to it. We told our office caretaker to shift it back to the nest. It was not an easy task as he had to go to the next building, take the required permission, and then put the creature in the nest. He agreed to do so, and then I came back to my place to start my daily work-routine.

Hours flew by, and it was time for tea-break. As I passed through the same place, I saw that the little squirrel was still there where it had fallen. I enquired the office care-taker about it. He told that he had put it back in the nest, but the young-one had fallen once again from its nest..! This was a surprise. Other colleagues heard it too, and we all asked the care-taker to put it back once again. He agreed to do so, but we could feel the reluctance in his voice.

The young squirrel was still lying on ground after an hour. When we came to know about this, my colleague Aravind Bhat hit upon a plan. He told the office care-taker that he will give Rs.100 to him if he puts the young squirrel in the nest. Needless to say, the young creature was back in its nest within short time.

Lesson for me: Having compassion is not enough. Sometimes we have to pay to help others.

Helping a stranger -2

2007-06-27T11:50:00.000+05:30

I have the habit of walking to my office from home in the morning, and back in the evening. I enjoy this as not only this gives some exercise after continuously sitting in my chair for hours, but also gives me solid 30 minutes when I am alone, & can reflect on my actions at the end of the day, and plan for the next day.

Two weeks ago as I was walking to my home in the evening, I heard a couple asking the passers-by whether he/she can understand Hindi or Marathi language. (Bangalore's local language is Kannada.) Since I knew Hindi, I stopped and asked them what is the problem.

The man told that he came to visit Bangalore with his family (which included his wife, child, and his father). His father is not mentally sound, and during the day time, he got down at some bus-stop while they were travelling in a local bus. Unfortunately, the money that they were carrying is in the bag that is carried by father. So now they were penniless, and were hungry. He asked whether I can arrange for their dinner.

As is my nature, I took pity on them and I told them to follow me to the near-by restaurant. I decided to spend around Rs.50-60 (US $ 1-1.5) for the dinner of the entire family. As we were walking, the man said it will be a greater help to them if I could sponsor their bus-fare, because ultimately they will need that. Without giving much thought, I gave them Rs.100 (US $2). That will not be enough for them, but I could not afford more than that.

As I walked to my house, I was still wondering whether it was a right thing to do.

The real surprise came next day evening. At the same spot where I had found the couple, I saw another couple asking the same questions to the passing-by people. Again I stopped to listen to them. The story was pretty similar, only thing that was different was that this time they had lost their money by the way of a pick-pocket. I was not sure whether the story was true. This couple too asked me for food. This time I decided not to give them cash. I took them to a near-by restaurant, bought the food-coupons worth Rs. 60, and then handed over to them.

As I walked home, I felt slightly better than the previous day.

Next day I discussed these 2 incidents with my colleagues. And to my utter dismay, I was told that there is a gang of people who collect money in this manner. And, some of my colleagues did fall prey to them as I did...

Audit teaches me a lesson

2007-05-31T13:20:00.000+05:30

Recently we had a Quality Audit conducted in our organization in order to become an ISO certified company. This audit was conducted by external auditors. Almost everyone in the organization was aware of the dates well in advance. But when the audit date arrived, there was a sense of panic on every face. Everybody was busy in documents, ensuring that they pass the audit.

The situation reminded me of a story that I had read long back. There was a king who ruled over a very small kingdom. In order to spread the kingdom, he began to spend on arms & men, and soon he had a very powerful army. Once he was confident enough, he started attacking the neighboring kingdoms, and added them to his rule. His kingdom spread far beyond he had thought, and thus was very happy. After few years of conquests, his kingdom touched the sea on all sides, and thus he became the lord of all the kingdoms in the land. His army had no more battle to fight. So the soldiers had lots of free time to heal their wounds & spend time with their family.

Few years later, a neighboring king attacked this king to take the revenge. The king called upon his army. When the soldiers were called upon for another war, they readily accepted the challenge. They put on their armour, went in the battle-field. But the moment their eyes fell upon the enemy, their courage left them. They fled from the battle-field, and lost the battle. The enemy took his share of land from the king. Seeing this, the other neighboring kings too attacked & took away some more land. At the end there was same land left with the king that was before he started his campaign.

Why did the king lost to the same enemies whom he had conquered earlier? The reason is the army was not ready. The soldiers relaxed after all the battles were won & did not practice their skills anymore. This their skills were rusted, their body forgot the art of fighting, and their mind had no courage to face the enemy.

Why I correlate this story to the audit in the organization is because we also undergo the same cycle in our office. We have an internal audit schedule in our organization. That is similar to the continuous war . These audits ensure that we update our documents at regular intervals & the entire process is maintained. If the internal audit is delayed by even a few days, people start relaxing. And when the external audit takes place, people panic as they have forgotten which document is where, and which document has to be updated. Finally everybody wastes precious time going through all the documents, and that makes the entire day full of stress & strain for everybody.

There are a lot of lessons to be learned from this. But the one I would like to mention is that we should do right thing at the right time. If we make this a habit and the amount of time saved by this habit is phenomenal.

Is it casual relationship, or is it love?

2007-05-17T14:38:00.000+05:30

In love, we are decieved may times. We think that certain person loves us, but he/she actually does not. Or, we may think that we have no more than just a casul relationship with him/her, but actually it is much more than that. Is there any way to know how much we love a person?

I received the following quote from one sister of mine. It is very relevant, & it is a very high probability that we all have experienced this at least once so far in our lives:

And ever has it been, that love knows not its own depth, until the hour of separation.

Just stay away from the person in question. Do not see his face, do not speak to him, even on the phone, throughout the day. And check your feelings in the evening. If you feel sad, you definitely love the person, irrespective of how much you deny it.

We do not need to show-off

2007-04-26T19:59:00.000+05:30

Have you ever come across a person who likes to show off his/her status?
Yes.
Did you like him or her?
No.
Would you like to become like her or him?
No.

Above is an imaginary conversation that can take place between you & me. But, if I ask you whether you are a person who likes to show-off, what will be your answer? If you like your friends to know your status, or let us say, what your standard of living is, what do you do? Throw up a lavish party?

One may ask as to what is wrong in doing that. They are our friends after all, and they ought to know how we live. Mitch Albom answers this question:

If you are trying to show-off for people at the top, they will look down at you anyhow. And if you’re trying to show – off for the people at the bottom, they will only envy you. Status will get you nowhere. Only an open heart will allow you to float equally between everyone.

Quotes worth citing #8

2007-03-25T17:34:00.000+05:30

During my MBA course, our teacher made us do a simple exercise. He asked us to form teams of 8 people each. One of the team-member will then stand on the edge of a platform approx. 1 ft. high. He will then turn his back towards the other team-members. Now, he will close his eyes and allow himself to fall back. The other members of the team, who will be standing on the ground will be ready to hold him. They will, in fact, convey the person on the platform that they are ready and he can let himself go. One by one, all the members of the team will climb on to the platform and allow others to catch them.

The exercise seems simple enough. But it is in fact very difficult to fall gracefully in others' arms. The 7 people who are down, are always confident of themselves. Its the person who is about to fall who falters. Many times the person falling will not trust his team, with his eyes shut, and nobody in his view. He will tend to break his fall half-way through, and thus make everybody's task difficult. This exercise is basically a trust-building exercise, where you have to have complete trust in your team members.

Mitch Albom gives the analogy of this exercise in the following words:

Sometimes you cannot believe what you see, you have to believe what you feel. And if you are ever going to have other people trust you, you must feel you can trust them too – even when you are in the dark. Even when you are falling.

Do we use the dust-bin?

2007-03-21T12:19:00.000+05:30

A couple of months ago, I had gone to attend marriage of my cousin sister. She lives in a small village located in the state of Uttar Pradesh. There is nothing special to mention about the marriage ceremony. If you know the traditions followed in atypical Hindu marriage, the same were repeated here too. But I noticed something that made me write this post.

The dinner was served in a huge hall, having a capacity of more than 1000 people. It was a buffet system, where the guests could go to any food-item they wanted (around 40 items were up to be gobbled), and take any quantity they wished. As some of the food-items were served in paper/plastic-plates, dust-bins were placed at many places in the hall so that after use, these plates, cups can be thrown into them.

The dinner started around 7 p.m. As I was busy with the other arrangements, I could enter the dining-hall only around 9 p.m. And I felt sad with what I saw. Most of the plastic-plates, cups and spoons were just thrown on the ground, all over the place. And to my astonishment, the dust-bins were empty except for a couple of used plates. People had not bothered to go near the dust-bins and used them. They just threw these things where-ever they stood and ate. And this made the area near the food-counters even more dirty than the rest, as people ate, threw, ate and threw again, all in one place. Worse, many people had thrown tumblers filled with water, and that had made the floor slippery in many places. And I saw around, it continued to happen with people eating around me.

I just wonder do we really need dust-bins in our society? Already we know the state of cleanliness of public places in India. And there has been a big hue & cry over this issue for a long time now.

It is truly said: Charity starts at home. Next time when we go to a public-place eg a restaurant, can we ensure that we do not make the place dirty? This is irrespective of the hotel-staff that has the duty to keep the place clean. Can we ensure that when we throw some trash, we throw it only in dustbin? That too not trying to throw it from too far, but going near putting it? And in case if it falls out, not hesitating to bend down, pick it up, and put it in the bin again?

To put in other words, can we make the work of health & hygiene workers a bit easier?

Quotes worth citing #7

2007-03-04T17:59:00.000+05:30

Here is another gem from the book Tuesdays With Morrie by Mitch Albom.

Ever wondered what is most important act that you can do to make a vast difference to somebody else' life? You may come out with your own list, which may include:

1. Giving financial help when someone is almost bankrupt and needs it badly.
2. Donating blood/kidney to somebody and bring him back to life.
3. Giving someone a break that may make his career.

.....& so on.

I am more interested in the rationale behind these actions. If you have done any of the above act or a similar one, did you expect something in return? Most probably your answer will be 'no'. Ever wondered why is that? When you are undertaking such an action, which may affect even your life in some way, why do you not expect something back. Mitch Albom answers the question as following:

Love is the only rational act.

True. Without love, none of these acts are possible. And if you have done so, you are definitely a rational person.

Quotes worth citing #6

2007-02-26T10:22:00.000+05:30

Continuing the quotes, here is another gem. I like it a lot because this one defines the way we should handle love.

We do acts of love, to show somebody how much we love him/her, and then we expect the person to reciprocate. We will have our own expectation. And the reciprocation may be different from what we expect. Then, what is our reaction?

For example, I give an expensive dress to my friend on his Birthday as a gift. Now, do I expect a similar dress from him on my birthday? Am I ready for anything else that he may try to give me? For example, a pocket-book, that may cost a fraction of the dress that I gave, but according to him, is the right gift for me. He may or may not know my taste, but that is a different matter altogether.

Its good to accept that token of love. I know what to give. But do I know how to take? The quote goes thus:

The most important thing in life is to learn how to give out love, and how to let it come in

Quotes worth citing #5

2007-01-13T18:57:00.000+05:30

Continuing with the quotes that I got from the book Tuesdays With Morrie , this quote deals with getting the meaning in life. It goes as follows:

The way to get meaning in your life is to devote yourself to loving others, to your community around you, and devote yourself to creating something that gives you purpose and meaning.

The above statement is pretty simple. We need to love others, to the people around others. Only the last part is catchy:...creating something that gives you purpose and meaning.

What does that mean? Though I am no expert in philosophy, I feel that here is the space for working towards the personal goal. All of us do have a goal in our life that we wish to achieve. We have our own definition of success. And one day we want to be the embodiment of success that we have defined. According to Albom, that is also a part of finding fulfillment in our life.

There is one last point to note. Our self-defined success comes after loving the people, and the community around us.

Quotes worth citing #4

2007-01-06T13:56:00.000+05:30

Recently I was reading a book Tuesdays With Morrie by Mitch Albom. The book has a lots of quotations that makes us think, and if dwelt in deep, can change our life. I wish to list those quotations that have had an deep effect on me.

Many times we are caught in a dilemma. Think of those moments when you were saying one of the following statements to yourself.

"Do I make the choice #1, or choice #2?"
"I want to do this, but I am compelled, by external factors, to do that".
"My head says one thing, and my heart another. What should I follow?"

And at the end of it all, you made a choice, lets say choice #1. But did you ever think what was the final factor that made you decide to take the choice #1? It was nothing but love. You love the people/tasks/results that were affected by the choice #1 more than the those affected by choice #2.

Mitch Albom describes this point in the following beautiful way:

Life is a series of pulls back and forth. You want to do one thing, but you are bound to do something else. Something that hurts you, yet you know it should not. You take certain things for granted, even when you know you should never take anything for granted. Life is like a wrestling match.

What wins in the end?

Love wins. Love always wins in the end.

Helping a stranger

2006-12-06T20:34:00.000+05:30

Recently I was waiting at a bus stop to go to the near-by market. My eyes caught a person who was also waiting there. Let us call him Ram. He was wearing a white shirt, and dark grey trousers. His facial expression told that he was not very happy at the moment. He looked worried, and he did not care to settle his ruffled hair. As I was watching him, a Santro arrived at the bus-stop, and stopped a few feet ahead of the man. I could not see who the people inside the car were as the dark glasses were rolled up. After few moments, the car door opened and a passenger handed some money to Ram. From what I could make out, they were few notes of Rs.10 denomination. Ram put them in his pocket, and the car went away. Ram now looked at me, and saw me watching him. He came to me, and we had a conversation. I do not know the language that he spoke, but still could make out what he was saying.

He told that he was a student from a near-by town, and had come to attend a job-interview. Somebody picked his pocket and he lost entire money that he was carrying. He had no means to go back home. He only had few rupees with him now that he got few moments ago in front of my eyes. He asked can I help him.

Now I have had more than one encounter like this in the city of Bangalore. Almost every time I have given away some amount, max up to Rs. 100. But I was never convinced that my money was actually being put to the use for which it was meant. So, on this occasion, I declined help to Ram.

Ram walked away, moving his limbs in utter display of frustration. I watched him, wondering whether should I call him back and give him some money. At that moment, the bus for which I was waiting arrived, and I boarded it. As the bus moved, I could still see Ram, his worried face, unsure of the near future. May be I should have helped him.

After this incident I did notice one thing. Even after declining help to Ram, I was not convinced whether I had done the right thing.

Our mentality

2006-11-20T18:07:00.001+05:30

Last week I was traveling by a local bus to reach my office. Our bus reached a cross-section of the roads when it had to stop due to traffic. It was a bit unusual delay in the bus to proceed further, as that junction is not known for any traffic jams whatsoever. Then, one vehicle in front of our bus took a u-turn and went back. Seeing this happening, many passengers in our bus thought there might be some accident that was the root cause of the trouble. Many of them stood up from their seats and craned their necks outside the bus windows to know actually what has happened. It was evident from the reactions on their faces that they were not able to se anything wrong on the road ahead, which was jammed by many vehicles in front of us. After a minute or so, our bus started moving, and it drew nearer to the point where the accident was supposed to have taken place. Almost all passengers were now peeking out of the windows to get a glimpse of the accident. And as we crossed the spot, there was no accident. The jam was caused by a huge lorry that had taken a wrong turn, and now its driver was trying to reverse it so that he can take it into the right direction.

I was happy that that there was no unfortunate incident that had happened on the road. But the disappointment on the faces of fellow-passengers drew my attention. People were disappointed that they did not get any subject on which they could gossip later with their friends.

I wonder as to what has happened to our mentality. Are we so irrational that we care more for something that will make us center of attraction when we narrate the accident that we saw on the road, than thanking God that there has been no untoward happening around us. Lately it has been a matter of discussion in the philosophical circles as to why people are more attracted towards bad news in a newspaper than good news. My observation is only another proof as to that this is indeed happening.

You may ask, how will change? Or, will it change after all? I have faith that this mentality of ours will change. I do not know how long will it take. I wish I knew how this change will take place.

Lending money to a stranger

2006-11-17T20:05:00.000+05:30

Few days ago, as I was going to my colleagues house for a dinner invitation I was stopped by a man riding a scooter. He took out his helmet, and asked me can I help him. I wondered what can I do. Here is the rest of the conversation.

"Hey, I just need to buy some petrol from the nearest petrol-bunk. Can you help me?"
"Yes, I know the nearest petrol-bunk."
"No man. Can you help me to buy this much petrol?" he said indicating with his hand as if he wanted just a pinch of petrol.

I thought for a moment. I had little over Rs.200 (US$ 4) with me. In India, 1 litre of petrol costs Rs. 50. How much could I help him? Still I climbed on the pillion seat.

It was just 5 minutes ride. On the way I learnt that he had been riding on a busy road, when suddenly police stopped him and asked him for his papers. He did not have them on his hand, and had to pay quite a good sum as fine. Now he did not have even a penny, and will not be able to reach his home with the amount of petrol left in his scooter.

As we came to the petrol bunk, I handed him a Rs.100 note. He asked for more, and then I showed him my wallet containing the other one. Before taking leave he took my phone number, telling that he will call me the next day and pay me back. I trusted him and did not take his contact details.

I am still waiting for his call after 2 weeks.

I always try to learn from the incidents that happen around me. But I wonder what I had to learn from this one. Should I take the contact address from those whom I lend money from now on, however small sum it may be? Or should I stop trusting starngers with money?

A friend v/s a colleague

2006-09-28T13:26:00.000+05:30

A friend in need is a friend indeed. Each one of us need a friend who is there to help us in the times of need. Those of us who have a friend are really fortunate. And others who do not have, are in search of one.

Ever thought that your colleagues can be your friend? Let us take a scenario. Your friend joins the same organization for which you are currently working. He is now your colleague. You will definitely consider yourself lucky. He is going to be by your side through-out the day, may be even outside the office hours.

Now let's take the other scenario, where you are looking for a friend amongst your colleagues. This is not a very comfortable situation. Finding a friend is not a piece of cake.

If you are trying to figure out as to who among your colleagues can be good friend of yours, try to gauze how much he or she is interested in you. The following points can help:

Friend: Is interested in your life & career apart from his own.

Colleague: Is interested in you if you are helpful in his life & career.

Friend: Will share your workload if you need it, irrespective of his roles and responsibilities.

Colleague: Will ask you to share his workload.

Friend: Will wait for you so that you can join him for lunch.

Colleague: Will tell you that he had to miss his lunch to gain your sympathy.

Friend: Will share all the information with you irrespective of what you share with him.

Colleague: Will share information with you if can extract something more from you.

Friend: Will even wait for you after the office-hours so that both of you can leave together from the office.

Colleague: Not concerned as to when you leave the office.

Friend: If you are not well, he will be there to care for you in office, and outside the office.

Colleague: If you are not well, he will ensure that he does not get your workload.

If any of your colleagues satisfies most of the points mentioned above, then he/she is planning to be your friend.

Remember that the best way to make a friend is to be one. Look back at yourself & introspect whether you can be a friend to somebody or not.

If we don't focus...

2006-09-08T16:42:00.000+05:30

When we are about to undertake a new task or new project, we need to ensure we don't lose our focus till the completion of the task. The sole purpose for which the task has been undertaken should not be forgotten, and all the activities that are done to complete the task should not conflict with the final purpose.

If the focus is lost, then the entire project goes haywire, and the end-product is something that nobody could have thought of during the initial stages.

Below is an example of one such project. The board displayed in the picture is meant to inform the travelers about a bridge ahead. This information appears at the very bottom of the board. Looks like the focus was somewhere else.

Quotes worth citing #3

2006-08-29T15:42:00.000+05:30

Love is one of the most wonderful creation of God. It makes us happy at times & sad at other times, depending upon the situation. Love involves sacrifice too. A lover can give his life for the sake of his love. Without giving, love cannot exist.

This is the essence of the following quote that I found last week:

"You can give without loving. But you cannot love without giving."

How to handle a person who complains continously

2006-08-24T21:03:00.000+05:30

Many of us would have come across people who keep complaining about everything in this world. It is a very dificult situation for us as we may not agree with them but still we have to listen to all they have to tell us. How do we get out of such a situation?

I found the answer on the link given below. It says that the best way is to empathise with them. That is what they are looking for. Your empathy will give them a lot of self-satisfaction & assurance. For details, follow the following link.

How to handle chronic complainers

An Amazing Ad

2006-08-17T18:23:00.000+05:30

Marketing a product requires an optimum mix of 4 Ps: product, price, promotion, & place. Most important definitely is the product. And the other three are equally important if you need to market the product well.

Look at the image below.

Can you tell what the following ad is for? This ad is for a special promo from the local bus transport service. The traveler can go around the entire city by paying only Rs. 2 ($0.05) with some conditions attached. Right?

In fact, this is an ad for a local daily in Bangalore, India. Think about the placement of this ad. Do you find it misleading………?

Why secret salaries are a bad idea

2006-08-09T19:04:00.000+05:30

In most of the organizations the salary of the employees is kept a secret. This is done so that the management can avoid justifying the salary difference to the "lesser-paid" employees when compared to the "well-paid" employees. Many of accept it as a norm.

I happen to come to the following article, and it makes us aware as to what benefits a company can harvest if the salaries of the employees are made public. The followong are the highlights.

Making salaries public (inside the company of course) has some major advantages:

Salaries will become more fair. The system gets a chance to adjust itself.
It will be easier to retain the best employees because they’re more likely to feel they’re getting a fair salary.
The pressure is on the people with the high salaries to earn their keep. Everybody has to pull their weight - the higher the salary, the larger the weight.

Visit the link below to read the entire article.

Why secret salaries are a baaaaaad idea

Launch of Suggestica

2006-08-04T10:00:00.000+05:30

It is said that books are the best friend of a man. They are one of the best source of guidance to all aspects of life. Today heralds the day for the launch of a website that has a very good collection of books written by various experts on many subjects. Please visit Suggestica (Beta version) and browse through the huge collection & enjoy...

Write down your goals

2006-07-31T19:11:00.000+05:30

Last week there was some problem with the centralized server in our office due to which the server date was displaying a past date. Since all of us login into the server through our local machine, our system threw up a error message informing us that the local system time & the server time is different. When we opened Outlook to check our mails, the view was very different. Outlook displayed mails categorized as "Tomorrow's Mails", "Next Week's Mails", & "Next Month's mail". It was so funny to imagine that we know what mails we are going to get in the future & what action we will be taking against them. How nice it will be if we get to know what will happen in future...!

Recently I was reading the book Goals by Brain Tracy. The entire essence of the book can be summarized in just one sentence: "You are responsible for your life". Another important lesson that the book teaches is that we should all have written goals. This works miracles. A goal that is written acts as a manager who is has given you deadline but leaves you on your own to decide how to accomplish it. So even though you may be busy in your daily activities, you will always have a nagging feel at the back of your mind that will remind you of the goal that YOU have set yourself. This feel make you undertake actions that will direct you towards the goal. And finally the goal will be achieved by you. There are always some pre-requisites for success of this kind. The goal should have a deadline. It is said that a plan is a goal with a deadline. With the deadline, our goal becomes a plan to succeed.

The deadline is similar to a mail that is labeled as "Next year's Mail"...

Quotes worth citing #2

2006-07-22T17:21:00.000+05:30

We all would have heard that there is nothing bad in this world; every thing happens for our own good. But when the testing times come, we generally tend to forget this. We never realize that same situation can make us laugh at one time & cry at another time.

Remember a past situation that occured at least 5 years ago when you were shedding tears due to some reason. When you think about it today, mostly you will laugh at yourself wondering how could you cry for such a 'silly' reason. Now think of another situation where you were having a lot of fun with your best friend(s). This also should have occured 5 years or earlier. You will feel sad immediately, especially if you are not in touch with those friends. You will ask yourself as to where have those beautiful days gone? Two different situations, make us laugh & cry at different times. Isn't it?

My colleague Soumya send me the following quote that just explains everything above...

We always know that looking back on our tears would make us laugh. But we never know that looking back on the moments we laughed together would make us cry.

To-do list in Firefox Sidebar

2006-07-19T10:57:00.000+05:30

Many times we miss out very obvious things and try to solve a problem using a method that is more cumbersome & time-taking. I have been searchig for a tool that will keep my To-do list always on my desktop. One way is to put them in Outlook Tasks list. Bu then one has to open it again & again to see the to-do's. Other way is to use scrap-pad of Google desktop. But in our company we are not allowed to install any software at all. :-(

I just came across the following article at erica's joys :)

This has solved my problem as most of the time I have to work with browser applications. Thank you Erica.

<-->

Whenever I'm on my Mac or Linux box, I miss the functionality of my Google Desktop Sidebar. I like being able to have a to do list, my Google calendar, and other various useful things right at my fingertips. I got to thinking about the Firefox Sidebar yesterday and how I could use that along with my Personalized Google page to make a sidebar I could use on any OS. Once I did it, I couldn't believe I hadn't done it sooner. I'm quite sure some enterprising person has already done this and it was posted on Lifehacker ages ago, but once again, its new to me. Anywho, here's what I did.

1) If you don't already have it, install Firefox.
2) Using Firefox, browse to http://www.google.com/ig
3) Line up all your Gadgets on the left, putting the ones you'll use most at the top.
4) Once you've got everything arranged, bookmark that page and give it the name Google IG.
5) Open Bookmarks in the toolbar and select Manage Bookmarks.
6) Highlight the Google IG bookmark and click on the Properties button.
7) In the Properties dialog check the box next to "Load this bookmark in the sidebar" then click OK.
8) Double click the Google IG bookmark and it should load in the sidebar.
9) Close the Bookmarks Manager and enjoy. :)

To make your Google IG book more accessible, your can put it in your Bookmarks Toolbar.

<-->

Giving tip to shopkeeper

2006-07-12T19:06:00.000+05:30

Few weeks ago I had an opportunity to eat at an outlet manned by a single person. I got into conversation with him, and learned that he was the sole owner of the shop. He will prepare the eatables in the morning and open his shop in the afternoon. His native place happened to be near my native place & that allowed me to ask him some other general questions regarding his family and life-style. At the end, I perceived him to be an honest person doing an honest job. When the time came to make the payment, I was overcome by a temptation. I wanted to see whether this man would accept extra money as a favour or not. I handed him 33% more money than I was supposed to pay. He promptly took it.

I was left waiting for the words such as,"I will only take what is due to me…" or something like that. I discussed this with my friend. He told that since the trend in every restaurant is to give tip to the waiter, the same criteria apply here. The extra money that I paid is like tip for him.

I had asked that person's daily income. He earns more than me….

Quotes worth citing

2006-07-06T18:04:00.000+05:30

I had not been well last week following a bout of food-poisioning. This week I joined my office back again, and came across the following quote:

"Never frown, because you never know who may be falling in love with your smile."

I am smiling today...

Managing Change in Workplace #3

2006-06-26T13:54:00.000+05:30

If there is a change happening in an organization, it is natural for the employees to feel unsafe & insecure. We all resist the unknown. As an employee, the following are the things that I would recommend to do when you see the change taking place in your organization.

Believe in the management. They are doing this for the good of the company. Remember they are also stakeholders in the company as you are.
Look at change from your manager's perspective. Does it help him in organizing his people and tasks better? Is he not becoming more efficient & effective?
Find out the new tasks for you that you may have to do in your new role. Also contemplate as to how the change helps you to grow as a person (& not just career).
Don’t draw conclusions on the first day itself. Wait till the system stabilizes after the change. The normal time for a system to stabilize after a change is considered to be three weeks.
If you have been asked to get rid of some your responsibilities, find out the reason. Are you not good enough for it, or has somebody else has arrived who do the job better than you? In either case, do not blame the management.
Finally, if you are not satisfied, leave with dignity. You don’t want people to curse you once you are gone. They should miss you.
Keep in touch with your formal colleagues. Find out whether the change was successful in its objectives or not. This information may help you in case your current organization is planning the same change.

Remember, once you are through the initial tough period, most likely you will love the change.

Managing Change in Workplace #2

2006-06-23T14:02:00.000+05:30

Imparting a change in an organization is never easy as it seems. Many of us don't realize the concerns that the employees have when the change process is on roll. Since many employees do not know what is going to come, their first instinct is to resist. They believe that the management is bringing about the change to impose its authority on them, and nobody likes to be forced. Then how to make a smooth transition? Following steps can be very helpful.

Communicate in advance about the change to everybody, whether he or she is affected by it or not. This imparts a feeling of 'not being left-out' regarding latest developments in the company.
Inform as to why the change is necessary in the organization, and what are the objectives that are to be achieved.
Be open to the ideas from the employees. Who knows, some of them may have a simple idea to achieve your objective that may save a lot of energy & effort of yours.
Ask the employees as to what is the best point of time to bring about the change. Let them set the date, so that they too feel that they too are involved in taking in such important decisions.
Be first to accept the change.( For example, if you are planning to migrate your OS from Windows to Linux, you be the first to use it.) This will help you understand the problems that others might face once they accept the change.
Reward those few who champion to accept the change before other employees.
Analyze whether the change has achieved its objectives or not. If it is successful, announce this news, and give credit to all the employees. Praise the first champions.
If the change is not successful, ask the employees as to what can be done to make it successful. Their ideas may be useful. (If no idea comes from anybody, it can be a major indication that people have not accepted the change whole-heartedly)
Last, but very important. If required, roll back the change. You may consider it as your personal failure, but people will feel that you do care for them. They may even appreciate you for doing that, because in the end you are making their life comfortable.

Some more on change in my next post.

Managing Change in Workplace #1

2006-06-22T13:56:00.000+05:30

As a rule, people hate change. Ask any person as to how will he react to a major change that is about to take place in his workplace. Most probably you will get a negative answer. All of us love to continue to live in our comfort zones. Nobody wants to take a risk to face the unknown. Then how do we bring about a change in the organization that is accepted by everybody?

Ask the following questions before bringing about the change:

Is it really necessary?
How many people are going to be affected by it? Can this number be reduced?
Are those who are affected happy with the change? What is their opinion?
What reward will the given to those who embrace the change first?
Are the people able to see the benefits that they will reap once they accept the change?
How do the people who are not affected by the change feel about it? Will they like to become a part of it if given a chance?
Most important, do the others know how will you be affected by the change?

Once you have the answers to the above questions, plan the change. It is always better to bring about the change in phases rather than all of a sudden. This will help the employees to prepare themselves mentally for that unknown.

Understanding the Customers' Requirements

2006-06-21T11:25:00.000+05:30

Yesterday I decided to have my dinner at my home rather than at the restaurant. So I ordered for a parcel. The dish which I ordered has an ingredient that is sprinkled over the top after it is served. As my parcel was packed, the man behind the counter sprinkled the ingredient on the top of the dish and sealed the parcel. I did not see anything wrong in that until I reached home and opened the parcel. The parcel did not have a wide opening & I needed to invert the container to empty the food out into a plate. When I did so, the ingredient on the top went to the bottom of the dish. I could not enjoy the dish fully as the taste given by the ingredient was not present in the first few mouthfuls. Worse, it did not add any special taste at the end too.

Getting to know one's customer's requirements is very important. In addition, we need to know whether the processes that we follow to fulfill those requirements are appropriate or not. Sometimes tweaking the process will enhance the users' experience of using our product.

The serving guy could have well put the ingredient at the bottom of the parcel. :-)

Impart Pleasent Feelings

2006-06-15T09:59:00.000+05:30

We have a small-board in our office on which an inspiring quote is written daily. Yesterday the following quote caught my attention:

People may not remember what you did to them, or even say to them. But they always remember how you made them feel.

Our actions play an important part as to how others will retain information about us in their subconscious mind. We may do anything, but what is important are the thoughts in their mind that are triggered by our actions. If the thoughts are positive, people will come back to us. If they are negative, we can be sure that people will not be interested in interacting with us again. Then we know that we have to improve.

Let's make others feel better...

Welcome to this New URL

2006-06-14T13:13:00.000+05:30

I welcome you all to this new URL of my blog. I know it is bit inconvinience for you to replace this url with the old one in your bookmarks. As I have put in my last post, I would like the url to convey what the blog is all about. Happy reading...

Can We Care For Strangers?

2006-06-10T16:41:00.000+05:30

How often do we care for others? We all care for our friends, family, relatives etc. But do we care for strangers whom we meet on the road, in local train, or inside a mall? We can win hearts of people whom we have not even met if we care for them. Don't believe it? Read on. This is a true incident.

My colleague Vivek was working in Delhi earlier. He received a phone call from a bank whether he was interested in their credit-card. He told the caller (a girl) politely that he already had one, and was satisfied with it. After few days, the call was repeated, informing him that the credit-card on offer had new features, and he can try it. He again told politely that he did not want the card.

Few days later the same girl called up. She again asked him whether he was considering trying their new card. This time her voice was a bit husky. He again declined the offer, but asked her whether she was suffering from cold. She acknowledged that she did, and then she broke-down on the phone! She told that for the first time a customer had been so polite to her, and she was indeed shedding tears of joy, realizing that somebody (apart from her family) did care for her.

Can we not care for strangers…..?

Don't Lose Your Strengths

2006-06-10T16:40:00.000+05:30

My colleague Senthil Raja sent me the following story

Once a princess went to the forest for an excursion. A tiger saw her & fell in love. He went near her. The princess got scared & started shivering because of fear. The tiger said, "Don't worry. I will not harm you. In fact, you are so lovely that I am in love with you. Will you marry me?"

The princess said, "How can I marry you? You are so fierce. I am scared of your nails & teeth". The tiger thought for a while and said, "Don’t worry dear princess. For your sake, I will break my sharp teeth and cut-off my nails. Now will you marry me?"

The princess said, "If you will cut your nails, and break your teeth, then how will you protect me from other animals? Sorry, I can't marry you."

The moral of the story: Do not lose your strengths for sake of love. Because people love you for your strengths.

The Handicapped Son

2006-06-10T16:39:00.000+05:30

What do we feel when we a person on the road, who is disabled in some way? Do we avert our gaze and look somewhere else? When such a person approaches us for some help (not begging for money), do we really try to help him as we will do to a normal person? Do we actually treat them as NORMAL person?

We may not be able to help such people always, but let us make a point to thank God for the ability he has given us, that we take so much for granted. Below is an incidence that I received in email from a friend, which gives us something to think about.

The telephone rang. As he picked up, and heard the voice across the line, it was a big relief. He told his wife too, and she lifted her hands up to praise the heaven. The phone was from their son who had been on the battle-field for quite sometime now. It has been more than 15 days since they heard anything from him. And now he had called.

"I am fine dad. The war has come to an end, finally. I will be back in a week."

"Very good son. We were worried about you a lot. You should have called earlier. Anyway, now you are back, no problem. We are eager to see you."

"Dad, I want to ask you something."

"Yes son…?"

"Dad, one of my friends has been wounded in the battlefield. He has lost his one arm and one leg. I want to bring him home."

"Yes son, why not. He can stay with us for few days."

"No dad. I want him to stay with us from now on. He does not have any other place to go."

"But son.. I mean he can't stay with us forever, can he? Such a handicapped person will become a burden to all of us."

"But dad, he does not have anybody else in the world…!"

"Its ok son. You do not have to worry about others. He will find some way to lead his life. Do one thing. You come off here & leave that guy there. We can then discuss about him later at our leisure."

"But dad…"

"Try to understand my dear. We cannot take responsibility for every handicap in this world. You have your own life to take care. Leave him and come here. I assure you that.." and he heard the telephone click at the other end.

One week later they received the news that their son had died at the nearest army headquarter. Full of grief, they went to see his dead-body. The doctor present there told them that it was a case of suicide. He had consumed poison in the night, and was found dead in his bed next morning. But when they finally saw him, it came as a shock to them. He did not have his left arm, and left leg….

Previous post on similar topic: Is He Handicapped?.....No.

Friendship & Principles

2006-06-10T16:38:00.001+05:30

Ever wondered about it? Which is more important for us? I believe that a relationship can be sacrificed in order to keep up one's own principles. Some time ago, I came across the following, & now I am wondering whether my thinking is right. Akhil & Arjun were very good friends in the school. Arjun's mother had died a few years ago. His father gave him money for lunch, and he was free to eat anything he wished. But he longed for the food that his mother used to prepare for him.

Akhil struck a deal with Arjun. Both started sharing their lunch with each other. Thus, where on one hand, Akhil could enjoy the food-stuff from the vendor outside the school-campus, Arjun was happy to munch the home-made food. None of them ever took each others lunch, without offering a theirs to the other .

One day Akhil dropped his pen. It no more wrote smoothly, & he had hard time to write the notes in the class as the teacher dictated. He complained this to his parents, but they won’t listen. Akhil told Arjun, “I wish I had a new pen”. Next day Arjun bought a new pen for Akhil. Akhil wished to pay for the pen. Arjun told that it was just a gift, and Akhil need not pay. The argument continued, and finally huge proportion. Both felt that they have been eating each others lunch but did not pay back enough to compensate for it.

Finally, as no settlement was reached, they decided not to share their lunch any more. Thus, both lost something which they used to enjoy.

I still wonder, what is the place for principles in ones' life. How should we balance these two parameters. I have seen a lot of instances where two friends go for lunch, one pays the entire bill, & the other friend keeps this in mind. On next ocassion, the other individual pays. It is assumed that both have paid each other, irrespective of the bill-amount which may be higher in one place. But nobody minds.

Let's realze that a true friendship is something that is not available in market. And one pays much more than money can buy. Do we remember how our friend took pains to buy a small birthday gift for us? The time he would have spent, the questions he would have asked himself as to what will suit you, what do you require most, what he can buy within his budget, that will be most useful to you, etc?

If you don't think that your friend has not done all this, then you may not have a friend. And the only way to have a friend is to be one....

Mini-saga: A Lesson in Just 50 Words

2006-06-10T16:38:00.000+05:30

Ever heard the term 'Mini-saga'? It is a story that is written in exactly 50 words; neither 49 nor 51. I came across the term while reading one of my favorite blogs: Life Beyond Code. We all know that each story has a lesson to be learnt. It is a smart idea to put a lesson in just 50 words. I too got inspired and wrote a mini-saga of my own. It goes as follows:

Fear

It was getting dark. She walked faster. The street was not safe. Two men were walking behind her talking casually. Scared, she prayed to God & turned back, only to see them disappearing into a lane. Now she was alone on the road. The feeling of being alone was more fearful.

I hope it conveys the message. Another very good mini-saga, which I am borrowing from Rajesh's blog is as follows:

John loved the library. That day, he was engrossed in a book. He hopedto finish reading it completely. It was almost the end and then… therewas a surprise – the last section was missing. "Alas" John thought"this book is close to real life. You don't know happens next…"

In case you have a mini-saga of yours, kindly mail it to me, or post it here as a comment.

I Hesitated to Care

2006-06-10T16:37:00.000+05:30

It has been raining in Bangalore for the last one week or so. The day starts with a bright sun, a hot noon, and then around 4pm, clouds gather in the sky. It starts drizzling around 6pm and sometimes rains heavily till late in the night. This causes problem for the people who travel on two-wheeler. They have to not only brave the rain but also flooded roads that are full of pot-holes.

One of my colleague, Senthil is just one of them. He comes to office on his Bajaj Discover. Due to rain he has been getting wet daily while going home. In addition, he had been forgetting to get his rain-jacket from home. On two occassions, he told me about this forgetfulness of his.

Next day while I was getting ready to come to office, I just remembered Senthil. It just occurred to me that I can call him at the moment and remind him about bringing his jacket to office. But I also thought that today he himself will remember to bring his jacket. And calling him will cost me Rs 1.20. So why bother? Just then, I remembered a quote that I had read on a blog: "If you care, people notice".

It stuck me at once. And next moment I sent a message from my mobile (which costs Re 0.70) to Senthil that he should not forget his jacket. What happened next was unexpected. Senthil called me up just to convey his thanks for reminding him.

I realized that even though I had hesitated to 'care' for him, he had not hesitated to 'care' for me. It was a lesson. He could have as well thanked me after coming to the office. But he chose not to delay it. The call costed him Re 1.00. But he did not think about it at all. It is a lesson for me about caring towards others.

It did not rain that evening.

Helpful Ones..

2006-06-10T16:36:00.001+05:30

Last Saturday I had to attend a CSR (Corporate Social Responsibility) event organized by our Company. As planned, all of us assembled in our office premises at the scheduled time. We had booked cabs to take all the employees to the orphanage where we were to spend time with the children there. It so happened that all the cabs were full, & I was to go on a two-wheeler with one of my colleague.

When we both started, all the cabs had already left, and they were much ahead of us. Neither me, nor my colleague knew how to reach our destination. I had the address of on a piece of paper. Like in any metro, Bangalore auto-rickshaw drivers are supposed to be well-versed with the city areas. So both of us decided to ask these people for the directions to reach our destination.

We crossed roads, circles, by-lanes, commercial-streets, and by-&-by reached the area where the orphanage was located. Throughout, the 45 minutes journey, we approached more nearly a dozen auto-rickshaw drivers, and all of them were always eager to help us. One even climbed out of his auto to ensure that we took the right turn at the end of the lane, as far as he could see us.

It was a nice experience to see that the auto-rickshaw drivers who are considered to be a harsh community helped us, sometimes with a smile. None of them was harsh or shouted as us, whether it was a traffic jam, or a run-way.

Both of us, me & my colleague, lost our way at the end. It took us half-an hour to cover the last one kilometer of our way. All because we could not find any auto-driver to show us the way further.

Is He Handicapped?.....No.

2006-06-10T16:36:00.000+05:30

As I have no cooking facility in my house, I depend upon the restaurants near my residence & office for my meals. In Bangalore, some of the restaurants have a typical way of operating. I don’t know whether it is same in other metropolitan cities in India. The customer has to first go to the payment-counter, pay the money for the item desired, take the token from the cashier, produce the token before the service-counter, and then wait at the counter to be served.

Last Sunday I had gone for breakfast to one such restaurant. As I waited for my turn to be served food, I noticed a handicapped person on the footpath just outside the restaurant. His legs were of no use, & he had to drag himself using his hands to move. He seemed to be a beggar looking forward to earn his daily bread. I watched him as he inched his way towards the people who were standing outside the eating area. They had either finished their breakfast or were deciding upon the menu. To my surprise, the beggar did not approach anybody. He seem to be waiting for something.

At that moment a two-wheeler arrived, carrying a person and two children. The beggar immediately went towards them. And instead of asking them to give something, he helped the children get down from the vehicle. The two kids seem to know him, as they smiled when they saw him. After the children were on their feet, their father spoke some words to this beggar. Even though I do not understand their language fully, I understood enough to make me feel proud of the beggar, or the person whom I assumed to be one. I realized that this person is a day-time care-taker for the children. His disability does not hamper him, and he is able to earn his living with dignity. It was a moment filled with joy for me to realize that we have one beggar less in our society.

I learned the lesson that it is our mind which hampers our progress & not our body. Had this person thought that he cannot earn his living once his legs were of no use, he would have been left to the mercy of others. But his confidence in himself, and his will-power had made him self-dependent.

My thought-process in this line was then disrupted as my breakfast was served by the man behind the counter...

Well Begun is Half-done

2006-06-10T16:35:00.000+05:30

We have a weekly program in our office. It is named as Wissendock. “Wissen”, in German, means “Wisdom”. This program involves a series of lectures & team-activities, & is conducted voluntarily by employees of the company.

As a part of this program, our Business Development Manager, Vivek, was scheduled to give a talk on EQ. It was scheduled to start at 4pm. Around 3:55 pm we were told to settle down in the lecture-hall. We all move in, and Vivek came and took his place. He seemed to be prepared well for the talk. We all were sitting now, and still he seemed to be waiting for something to start.

Then suddenly he shouted at one of our co-workers present in the hall. “Why are you talking there? Do you think I am a fool standing here waiting to speak to you all? What do you think of yourself? Can’t you come and take your seat?”

The entire hall went silent at this burst–out from him. Nobody had expected Vivek to behave in such a manner. He is known to be one of the coolest guy around. The employee who was target of this burst, did not know what to do (he is junior to Vivek). He silently went and took his seat.

And then Vivek burst out laughing. He explained to us that what he did was just a demo of a person who has a low EQ than average……

Public speaking is an art. The speaker has to capture not only the attention of his audience, but also drive home the key-points of his topic to them. And when a speaker knows how to capture the attention of audience, his job is almost done. By starting in such a fashion, Vivek not only captured our attention, but also gave a demo as to what we would not do if we have a high EQ. It was a good beginning.

Not to forget to mention, the targeted person is a close friend of Vivek. Even as he was shocked from the out-burst, he knew in his heart that it was not to be taken seriously. Well done Vivek!

Everybody is a Role-Model

2006-06-10T16:34:00.001+05:30

Have you heard this saying – “One should keep improving throughout one’s life”? Many a times we would have tried to put it into practice. We would have looked for role-models around ourselves to learn something from them. We might have searched for instances in their life so that we can learn a lesson that life is here to teach us.

Unfortunately, it is not that easy to find role-models. All the qualities that we admire are not found in a single person. On the other hand, many times we find people who are totally opposite. They have those qualities that are not worth emulating. And if we interact with such people quite often, this thought will come to our mind one time or the other, “Can’t these people see me & learn from me? Why can’t they take me as their role-model?”

Here I would like to quote from a mail that I got recently from my friend, Ramanathan. He has commented on this very subject. The excerpt is as follows:

“……be a keen observant of your surrounding and people for they are the best teachers. They teach in either way. One is either how to be or how to do or how to live and the other is either how not to be or how not to do or how not to live like them...... this is a part of life... I have personally gained a lot from such observation....”

Suffice to say, if we cannot learn what to become, we should at least learn what not to become. These people around us are also role-models. Only we need to learn from them in a bit different way.

Thank you Ramanathan……

Nip it in the Bud

2006-06-10T16:34:00.000+05:30

Last week, my young cousin sister was getting ready to make chapattis for all of us. It was first time she was making chapattis. I was to supervise her. The task of making chapattis involves making dough out of wheat-flour, cutting it into small pieces, roll each piece into a flat pie-shape, and then bake it on the stove.

As she started making the dough, I stood by her side & watched her silently. After making the dough, she asked me whether it was rightly made. Unfortunately, it was not. The dough she made was quite hard. Even as I noticed the flaw, I told her to go ahead with rolling the chapattis. I thought that I should inform her of the mistake only after she finishes the chapattis.

The hard dough made it difficult to roll chapattis. It took almost double the time to roll out the required number. The shape also was not round but uneven. As the chapattis were put on the oven, they were getting stuck on the pan, & some even got burnt, unfit to eat. Finally I myself had to take out some more flour, make dough, & cook chapattis. The lunch was served one & a half hour late. All because of me as I did not correct my sister during the initial stage.

When we are asked to supervise somebody’s work, we should not let the person to carry on with flaws in the basic plan, thinking that the concerned person will learn from his mistake when he gets a final product, full of flaws. Then there is absolutely no need for our supervision.

As a guide / manager / supervisor, one’s job is to nip the flaw in the bud itself. Otherwise, the blame may as well come to us for not being attentive to our job…..

"What Is Spirituality"

2006-06-10T16:32:00.001+05:30

Last week I faced a tricky question from my colleague. It was, “What is spirituality?” And even as I was preparing to answer, another question bamboozled me: “Is spirituality Mind?”

During my college years, I have heard enough on spirituality. We had had long discussions on the subject, which included hot debates & sometimes even classroom lectures. But this question did make me think.

‘Spiritual’ comes from ‘spirit’, which means something abstract. What is that abstract? It is the state of mind where one sees same energy flowing in everything around him. He believes that the same life-force runs through everyone of us. This knowledge penetrates into every aspect of his life, & he is no more worried about any untoward incident. He treats everything with equanimity. When such a state of mind is reached, life becomes a game. And one enjoys it. Nothing in life remains to be conquered.

Coming back to the situation, I was still pondering over the question. Then, one of my colleagues who had heard the questions put to me, replied to both of us, “What is not Spirituality?”

Blessing In Disguise

2006-06-10T16:32:00.000+05:30

Last week it was the Birthday of one of my Senior Colleague. We all were set to have a grand lunch in a nearby restaurant, which he had agreed to sponsor. When the lunch-time came we all proceeded towards the decided venue.

Once we all were seated for lunch, I noticed that two members of the Board of Directors had joined us for the lunch. They had come for a meeting, and as it was their lunch-time too, they were invited to join us. This meant that our B'day pal will have to spend some more from his pocket than he would have planned initially. (I had no doubts that he can easily afford it.)

The lunch was in buffet fashion, & we enjoyed ourselves with the multitude of dishes. He was given a gift on behalf of the organization, and all of us sang the traditional B'day song. When it was all over, the bill came. And to surprise of all of us present there, one of the Board Member paid the entire bill, citing it as an additional B’day gift to our colleague.

Many times when we face a problem, we crib about it. We think why we are facing such a problem. What wrong have we done to anybody? We tend to forget that these very problems are the channels through which we utilize our hidden potential. We become stronger. We become tougher, and can face more difficult challenges. When we solve problems at our workplace, they become a reason for our promotion. When we solve problems in life, we overcome our weaknesses & stand tall above others.

One should remember that difficulties are blessings in disguise.... just like the Board Member who joined for the free lunch...........

Making The Right Choice

2006-06-10T16:31:00.000+05:30

Recently I met one of our ex-colleague who had recently joined an MNC in Chennai. As we set down to have a meal, we started to ask her about her new job, workplace, colleagues etc. What she told is worth sharing.

Her new job was really exciting. She got a break in the area of her choice. Her salary was much more than she was getting in her last job. The distance between her office and her place of residence was also reduced, to just 15 minutes of walk. All this sounded very good to all of us & we really felt happy for her.

But then she told that she missed something in her new life. She said that she missed all the fun that we used to have. In her new workplace, where she had been working for one month now, she had no friends. She hardly had any rapo with anybody. Employees seem to concentrate only on their work. There is not much interaction between them. The employees who sit near-by her were all at least two years senior to her. They did not interact much with her, and she being new, also hesitated to mix with them. This was the case not only with her, but with the other newly-joined employees too. They were seated in the midst of senior employees, and faced this problem of not knowing anybody else than their respective reporting manager. Even during the lunch-time, our colleague had to eat alone, and go back to her desk to continue her work. What struck us most that this becomes a habit for the new employees too, so when they become a senior employee, they too don't interact much with the freshers.

Next time when you are planning to switch to a new job, think about it. What kind of workplace you prefer? Would you like a place where your colleagues know you, & spend time with you? Or would you prefer a corporate office where you do your job and your co-workers theirs? I don't deny the importance of a better financial prospective. And money is not everything in life.......

"This Is Team-work"

2006-06-10T16:30:00.000+05:30

I would like to share something which stands out as a good example of what real teamwork is.
I was working on the database of the project (the same which occurred in my previous post). I was working on a trial version of Toad software, an SQL database tool. I had to type in same values in a particular column across multiple rows. To reduce my work, I just entered one word in each cell of the column.
Once I had completed the data entry, I wrote an SQL query to replace the word by the desired phrase. To my surprise, only one of the 18 cells was edited by the query. I tried again & nothing further happened. Confused, I called one of my senior to see into the problem. She has a very good hold on SQL queries. She typed in a complex query. And the result came. A result that none of us neither wanted, nor expected. All the cells in that particular column had changed to zero!!!
I know that the query that was given did not include anything like 'zero', ‘nil’, 'null' etc. But still both of us were staring at the screen bewildered.
Though I had a backup of the data, but copying from the backup to this database will mean that whatever I had done for the last 4 hours will be lost.
As I prepared myself to copy from the backup, my QA team-mate Sowmya Ambiti came to see what has been happening. When I explained the problem, she smiled, told me to relax and take a 30 minutes break. She took upon restoring the data to herself, even without my asking. She copied the data from the backup, in such a smart way that the data loss was minimal. I had not lost entire 4 hours work, but only what I could redo in a few minutes.
Sowmya denied acknowledging any praise for the work that she did. She just told me, “This is team-work”. I had no words to express my feelings…….

Not Much Workload....?

2006-06-10T16:28:00.001+05:30

A comment from my boss on last Friday made me think.

I was sitting in my chair, working on my system. That day I had to grab some data directly from the internet, and put it in the project database. Now there was something wrong with the internet line and it was very slow. I had to wait for 1 minute to open a normal html page. Sometimes, even more... As my work fully depended on the net, I had nothing to do but watch the progress of the web-page loading on my screen. To remove the boredom, I had plugged in my earphones, listening to soft, instrumentsl music. At that time, my boss passed behind me. He saw me ..sitting idle in the chair, hands away from the keyboard and mouse, simply staring on the monitor, with earphones in my ears. In a juvial tone, he said to one of my colleagues, "Looks like Prashant does not have much workload..." I looked back at him ( I could hear what he said even with earphones plugged in ), and smiled. I protested too, in a friendly manner, and he walked away, smiling.

Then I started thinking about it. I have enough work. Just because I don't frown, complain to anybody, scratch my head, does that mean I have les work load than others? Or do I take it as a compliment, that inspite of the workload, I still remain cool & comfortable, not showing any kind of stress. ( On an average, I spend 11 hours in the office daily, for 5 days, and few more hours on Saturdays, for which we do not get any extra compensation).

Should I not listen to music when the work is dragging & the network is down? Should I complain to everybody regarding the workload that I have inspite of knowing that they work for same time duration in the week? Should I pretend to be stressed out even though I am not? Or should I continue... my way.....till they realise....

Did You Give Something

2006-06-10T16:28:00.000+05:30

As one travels from one part of Bangalore to another, he can see the changes that have come over years. Once upon a time, Whitefield was considered to be outside the city. It was just 5 years ago. But now, a traffic jam in this area too is considered as normal. The same has been the state of many other parts in the city. Once considered as remote places, these areas are now attracting a lot of traffic, and hub-drub of the city.

And as you are stuck in a traffic-jam, you will definitely feel miserable. The noise around you, the pollution caused by the vehicles, the pot-holes, that you would have encountered on the way, & the ones that you will encounter on the way to your destination, all this will make you wonder as to what has happened to the city that is supposed to be the 'city of gardens'? Did you realize as to how many gardens did you actually see on your way?

What I find most disgusting is the state of the people in Bangalore; especially those who come here with the dream of earning their livlihood and leave the shadows of their cruel past behind.
One can see a lot of low-class workers, busy in thier daily-jobs, everywhere in the city. Be it a fly-over (something that has made a big hue-and-cry in the city), restaurant, railways, construction, you will find many people working here. They jostle into the BMTC buses, in the morning, carrying their lunch in a small tifin-box, and then busying themselves in the work that will provide them their daily bread.

But there is another class of people who cannot afford this. Let's go back to the traffic-jam where you are stuck. Did you notice somebody standing outside your car, extending his/her hand, expecting a coin from you? Or did you see a small girl, doing acrobatics on the footpath, so that her physically-disabled mother can get somethng from you? Or was it an old man who was trying to sell you a packet of ear-buds for a meagre 5 rupees, which will mean something to him, if not to you?

Did you give them something? A small coin, a packet of biscuits, a banana, or similar thing? Or did you ignore him and drove away once the signal turned green, like me?

My Journey To North India

2006-06-10T16:12:00.000+05:30

Last month I had a chance to visit North India after a gap of two years. I was to attend my sister's wedding. It was 44 hours journey, including 40 hours by train, and 4 hours by bus, thereafter. As it was the month of February, I took enough warm cloths with me. I left Bangalore in only a T-shirt & was expecting a cold morning when I get down at Agra 2 days later. But it was not to be. I found myself sweating as I stepped out of the Agra Cantt. station, looking for an auto-rickshaw to take me to the nearest bus-stand. The journey from Agra to Etawah, my home-town was in a UPSRTC bus. There is a sharp contrast when you compare the bus to KSRTC buses. The bus was quite dirty. It looked like nobody has swept the floor for last one week. There were used water-bottles scattered around, along with groundnut peels. The bus was rickety and made a lot of noise. The journey was not that bad. After moving out of the city, the cool breeze took away my tiredness of the train journey, and I looked out of the bus window. This erupted nostalgic feeling in me. During my childhood I used to see the same scenery out there whenever I used to visit my paternal / maternal village. Those days I used to be very keen in traveling by train. Unfortunately, railway line was kilometers away from my village. I used to feel very sad about this. The last part of those journeys used to be terrible, as we used to travel in private buses, which will be overcrowded by default. Now, the same village was connected by a state highway, and better buses were available (even though I have not visited there for a decade now).

I reached my home in the afternoon. It was a different feeling. The place is a town, and the traffic is definitely different from the city of Bangalore. There is hardly noise and one can feel peaceful even on the road that leads to the railway-station. I had a quite, peaceful walk in the evening. I felt engrossed with peace.

Two days later, I had to get some material for the rituals that had to be performed for the marriage ceremony. I did not take the bike, as I prefer walking. It took me half-an hour to find the right shop. I told the shopkeeper man my requirements, and to my surprise, he gave me the material free of cost. He told that as the material is going to be used for the puja, I won't need a significant amount. And the meager amount that I needed can be given free of cost as it won't affect his business. I came back with the material without spending even a single rupee from my pocket. This was quite an opposite experience from the one I had in Bangalore a few weeks ago. I had shifted to a new house. I do not have any furniture, not even a chair. The house-owner noticed this, and he offered to give me a chair & a table. It was lying idle in his house. I thought that it will be good to have something like that, so I agreed. Immediately he told me the monthly charges that I will have to pay for the set.....!

The main ceremony was to be held in Patna. I went to Patna along with my family and relatives. It was another train journey of 9 hours. The weather was quite different from what I had expected. It was hot.! Thankfully we all were in AC coach.

As we all got down and reached the place where the ceremony was to take place, I realized my mistake of carrying all the warm cloths with me. There was no need for any of them. We were there for three days, and every night we used to switch on fan and sleep. Entire day the room AC had to be on. On the wedding day, I did not even put-on even once, the jacket that I had so lovingly bought in Bangalore to be wore during the ceremony. It would not have been out of place to have an ice-cream or a cool-drink. In fact, ice-cream was a part of the dessert served during the ceremony.....!

My sister went to her in-laws place, and I came back to my home town. It had become slightly hot, with mosquitoes now making there presence felt at night.

Soon it was time for me to leave. As I climbed back into the bus that will take me to Agra, I still thought of the weather, the mindset of the people, and my unused jacket......